Heaven's Prisoners

By Demi/Demona

PROLOGUE

Clark watched in agony as the small explosive fell from the sky
only yards away from where he was lying. He curled around himself
in a futile attempt to rise, to do ANYTHING. Next to him, a tiny
green rock glowed sullenly making it all -- impossible. Crying
out in frustration with the last of the strength he possessed,
Clark saw the device find its final resting place, clinking
against the roof of his parent's farmhouse several yards away.
There was a moment of nothingness when Clark couldn't even
remember the sound of his own labored breathing. Or maybe he had
held his breath. An instant later the Kent home exploded in a
blinding flash of light. Shards of glass and wood fragments flew
across the yard at terminal velocity; several of them finding new
homes in Clark's now vulnerable flesh. Later he would regret that
there had not been enough of them to kill him.

The house was utterly gone. A charred heap of burned- out wood
was all that remained of the once beautiful home he'd grown up
in. And the remains of his beloved mother and father somewhere
inside. They'd had no warning. He hadn't been able to get to them
in time and now they were gone , forever. All of it was. Clark
knew in that instant that nothing would ever be the same again.
Laying his head back against the killer rock next to him, Clark
closed his eyes and prayed for death. It was the last thing he
remembered doing before everything went black.

***

TWO YEARS LATER

"Clark, honey, would you get my black coat out of the closet for
me? We have to hurry or we'll be late."

"Sure." Clark deftly unhooked the long dark coat from its hanger
and slipped it over one arm before moving across to the window
and looking out. The sound of the ocean roaring 17 stories below
the building was almost inaudible, even to him, but he could see
the waves crashing against the shoreline and he could almost feel
their intense need. Something violent and rage-filled. A part of
himself that he had suppressed for a long time. He sighed when he
felt two hands against his shoulders from behind.

"What is it, Clark?" Her voice was soft as ever and he chastised
himself for not being able to take much of its offered comfort.
"Clark?"

"What?" Clark shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other,
causing her to smile. "Nothing. Really. It's just, I guess, I'm
tired that's all." He tried to match her smile but made it only
half way.

"You've been living in Europe for a little over a year and you're
only getting tired now? I'm impressed." She ran her hands down
his back and put her arms around him, hugging him from behind.
"We really do have to go, or we'll be late. You know I can make
an excuse for you if ... "

"No. No more excuses. Let's show these people what we're made
of." Clark really did smile this time and hugged her back.

"All right." She turned and walked toward the door of the
apartment.

Clark watched her move away from him and admired the soft look of
her curves. She was incredibly beautiful. "Marie, don't forget
your coat." He reached his arm out and Marie skipped back to pull
it playfully from him.

"Whoops! Thanks, sweetheart. Come on, we'd better hurry!"

Clark closed the door to her apartment behind them and, as he was
placing the key in the third lock, his mind wandered, as it
always seemed to, back to another time and another place. Another
apartment with so many locks. Shaking his head and sighing, he
followed Marie into the elevator which would take them downstairs
to a waiting car.

***

"Clark! Marie! You both made it. We were beginning to wonder if
you hadn't decided to skip our little soiree for some more ...
interesting entertainment." Jean-Marc winked at Marie and nudged
Clark's arm knowingly while she blushed. Clark just shook his
head -- and his finger -- at his playfully offensive co-worker.

"You're lucky she doesn't work with us, Clark. I doubt we'd ever
see you then ... " Jean-Marc continued in the same vein and Marie
pretended to look affronted.

"Jean-Marc, you are absolutely incorrigible and I'll have none of
it tonight. This is Clark's big evening. If everything goes well
he'll-- "

"Never have to work with YOU again," Clark laughed as he poked
the edge of Jean's lapel with the tip of his finger.

Jean-Marc mimed a knife in his chest and practically doubled over
laughing. "You know, Marie, Clark is the only American I ever met
who speaks French better than the French do."

"You mean better than YOU do." Clark grinned. It had been a while
since he and Jean-Marc had gotten together for some friendly
sarcasm. He'd missed that. Just like he knew he would miss Jean's
sense of humor if he did get the assignment he'd been waiting
for. The banquet hall was teeming with friends and colleagues,
executives and news moguls from all over Europe. It wasn't an
international event, but it was almost as huge. An annual
gathering of everyone who was anyone in the European media, for
no other apparent reason than to spend an evening schmoozing with
'connections'. Clark's editor at La Lettre was here as well, and
he'd already dropped the bombshell that he had 'news' for Clark'.
Something he wouldn't tell him until tonight. It was Marie who
spotted the short, burly man first. Wearing an expensive,
custom-tailored tux and sporting a large cigar, which no one ever
bothered (or dared) to ask him to put out.

"Clark, there he is. Let's go say hello? Maybe he'll tell you his
secret." Marie's excitement was infectious, so Clark took her arm
and the two of them made their way across the room.

"M. Benoit. It's good to see you this evening, sir." Clark held
out his hand, which was firmly grasped by the older man. He had
never been able to give up the sense of formality he felt around
his new editor. He remembered with fondness the relationship he
had once had with his former editor in Metropolis, Perry White,
but here, everything had been so much different.

Even if he hadn't withdrawn substantially from his former self,
he might never have achieved the same rapport with Clemont
Benoit. The man was friendly in a high-school principal kind of
way, but never more than that.

"Clark. Clark Kent. Just the man I've been looking for." He
smiled at Marie. "And you, my dear Marie, are looking as radiant
as ever!" Taking her hand in his, he kissed the top of it and
laughed from deep in his belly. "Clark, I hope she loves you!"

Clark raised an eyebrow and stared at Benoit for a few moments,
not quite comprehending.

"My boy, La Lettre has been purchased."

Clark's eyes widened. "Purchased? You mean ... "

"Mmm. Bought out. A great merger! But this isn't bad news. It's
good news! Especially for you! You see, an American broadcast
news company, Planet News Network, has taken an interest in
several European newspapers and magazines. We are now simply part
of a much larger conglomerate, I'm afraid. But the good news is
that this means GLOBAL PARTNERSHIP. And we need an operational
head back in the US right away."

Clark was amazed. "You want ME to be a "

Benoit laughed loudly. "No, no, Clark, they've already got a
woman assigned to that position. And you're probably the best
damn reporter I've ever witnessed in action. There's no way I
would ever stick you behind a desk pushing paper, so to speak,
for the rest of your life! What we want is for YOU to head up
their investigative division. They've got a lot of pretty
anchors, but they need a few more brains!"

Benoit glanced at Marie. "No offense, my dear. You are probably
the best *anchor* I have ever witnessed as well!"

Marie smiled. "None taken." She turned her attention to Clark. "I
heard about this merger last week. I didn't think anything of it;
TFN news has been purchased several times in the past and it has
never affected our positions."

"Sir, not that this isn't a terrific opportunity, but why me?
When I came here I was very specific about my intentions. I don't
want to work in the US again."

"Unavoidable, Mr. Kent. If you want to work at all, you'd better
start working with PNN. They will own much of the world's mass
communications in very few years. You know as well as I do that
they've been the largest global communications firm in the world
since they took over the former LNN. So unless you'd rather work
for a small municipal paper with no potential for growth, I'd
advise you to take this opportunity now, before it's too late."

Clark swallowed. He couldn't go back to the US. He had made that
decision over a year ago. There were too many memories there. Too
many still-open wounds that he was not prepared to face again so
soon.

Oh, he knew about PNN. Stern had founded the corporation soon
after his revival of the "Daily Planet" newspaper. And now that
there was no more "Daily Planet" and newspapers themselves seemed
almost a thing of the past, PNN was *the* monolith in
techno-journalism on a global scale. Clark didn't know if that
excited or scared the hell out of him, but either way, he didn't
intend to find out. And what about Marie? He had known her for
months but they'd been together for three. How would she react to
all of this? "Sir, I just can't."

"Clark. They asked for you personally. You'll go, or you won't
work." Benoit smiled as best he could and took his leave. Marie
watched him go and saw a faint shadow cross over Clark's face.

"Clark. You have to go." She whispered, taking his arm in hers.
"I'm sure it won't be that bad. What could possibly be so bad
that ... "

"Marie I can't." Clark cut her off and turned away. There was so
much that she didn't know or understand. Things he had
deliberately kept secret from her all this time. He hadn't used
any of his powers in two years, and were it not for the
occasional dream where he woke up floating, he might have
forgotten he had them. She couldn't know of that and she couldn't
know about the rest of his past. That was over; a chapter in his
life which he never wanted to look at again.

And yet a part of him ached for something he didn't even know how
to analyze. It was a deep and soulful yearning more powerful than
what he might have even defined as "Love," and it was beginning
to consume whatever the accident had left of him. Some nights, he
would wake up and actually feel cold. He had never felt cold
until the accident, but something had changed inside of him that
night. Something had died along with his parents, and now though
physically still invulnerable, he would pitch in bed for hours in
his sleep, finally sitting upright, breathing raggedly and
calling out her name as if it would save his soul. A name he
hadn't heard in over a year. That was what he couldn't face right
now. He knew he was acting like a coward, but there was more to
it than that. The desperate need he felt, the impossible anger he
directed toward himself. All of it was tied in to Her. And as he
turned to grab his coat from the check nearby, with Marie only
inches behind him, he heard a soft voice in his head. A voice he
recognized but hadn't heard in a very long time. And without a
thought, his mind responded, whispering urgently from within.
"Lois."

He sucked in a breath and took Marie's arm. Leading her out into
the night toward their waiting car.

***

3 WEEKS LATER

Clark fidgeted with his tie as he sank into the soft cushioning
of the 747's first-class seating section. He hated planes.
Passionately. Well, more to the point, he hated flying in 10,000
tons of steel casing when he knew he could be soaring through the
clouds under his own power. But doing that would mean that he
would once again have to use his powers and that, he vowed, he
would never do again. It was bad enough that he woke some nights,
suspended in the air. Often dreaming Lois was there with him.
That was especially disconcerting when thoughts of Marie would
intrude into his consciousness. He wondered vaguely what she
would think of Metropolis when she arrived in two weeks. Getting
herself transferred as an anchor had been easy enough, she was
born in the USA; but she was originally from the West coast.
Europe was probably less of a culture shock than Metropolis would
be for her. Clark smiled inwardly. Well, at least he'd have those
two weeks to get something 'homey' arranged. She'd need an
apartment. And as much as he cared about her, he still wasn't
prepared for any type of live-in relationship just yet. And it
was because of this that he was eternally grateful she had never
broached the subject with him.

"Can I get you anything to drink, sir?" The sound of a
stewardess' voice ripped him from his reverie and he looked up.

"No, no thank you, I'm fine." The older woman smiled and headed
off toward the rear of the jet. Clark fastened his seatbelt and
looked out the tiny window next to his seat. Well, at least
they'd be in the air soon. The thought of returning to Metropolis
worried him more than a little. For one thing, it was the last
place he'd seen Lois. She'd been on assignment in Japan for the
Daily Planet shortly after their separation, but now that there
was no more Daily Planet, she could be anywhere. There was no
reason for him even to assume that she'd still be living in
Metropolis.

He was at least relieved that they hadn't ended things on an
angry note. Mostly, they were both hurting so badly that it had
numbed them completely to any form of hostility. And Lois was
beyond anger. For almost a year, she'd coaxed and cajoled him.
Trying desperately to find SOME way to get through the horrible
walls he'd built after the accident. Neither one of them had
talked much in that year. At least not to each other. And he had
to admit, that wasn't because Lois hadn't tried. No, Clark
conceded, if it weren't for her stubborn and seemingly
inexhaustible fortitude in searching to resurrect what was left
of him, things might have ended even sooner. But eventually, even
she was forced to give up and admit defeat. He wasn't going to
let anyone in. Not then, and maybe not ever again.

When he told her that he would be moving to Europe, she'd cried.
He hadn't seen her, but he could hear her tears even over the
telephone. Her despair only added incentive for him to get away.
Be the coward he always knew he was, and just let the world be a
better place without his interference. Failure was even more
painful than any death ever could have been.

He'd wanted to take refuge and solace in the arms she held out to
him night after night. But how could he let her offer him
forgiveness when he couldn't forgive himself? And the two people
who might have been able to forgive him would never speak again.
Starting over was what he wanted. If he couldn't die, then he
could let the rest of it go. All of it.

Yet here he was, on a plane, bound irrevocably for Metropolis and
all the memories that came with. Dimly, he noticed that the jet
was already well into the air. It was only a matter of time now
...

***

"What have we got?" Lois tipped her head forward and cracked her
neck back into position, causing the older woman holding a file
next to her to cringe. Lois smiled. "God, you have no idea how
good that felt."

"I believe you! I don't think I want to know!" Judi laughed.
"Well, it looks like this is almost wrapped up. I can put it to
bed." She gathered the file together and closed it, but before
moving away she stopped and turned back. "Lois?"

Lois pivoted around to face her. "Yeah?"

Judi shook her head and smiled. "It's been really great working
with you. We'll all miss you when you move on to that new
promotion tomorrow."

Lois sighed. "I'll miss this place too. But I'm sure I'll be back
on occasion. I'll need information from all over, and this is
probably PNN's biggest stockpile." Grinning, she continued on to
her office and Judi disappeared down a nearby corridor.

Gathering the last of her belongings from her now- empty desk,
Lois pulled the final drawer open and stared inside. She never
used this drawer. In fact, she'd almost forgotten that she had
it, third from the bottom on the left side. Now, as she moved to
empty it, she gently removed a framed photograph she had placed
there so long ago. She and Clark. Shortly after they were first
married. God, they looked so happy. She remembered how silly she
felt inside when he held her like that, standing behind her with
his hands at her waist, pulling her close to him. How loved she
felt. When he put his strong arms around and just -- held onto
her. She closed her eyes. She could almost feel his arms around
her now. No, she *could* feel arms around her now! Opening her
eyes quickly, she dropped the photo back into the drawer just in
time to be twirled around and into another man's arms.

"Lois," David crooned in her ear. "Are you almost done?"

Lois moved backward slightly, out of his grasp, the uneasy
feeling of her previous thoughts making her completely unable to
enjoy his hug. Making her more than a little uncomfortable just
being in it. She hoped he hadn't noticed. To her relief, he
didn't mention it if he had.

"Yeah. Yes. I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Good, I'll take you home."

"No!" Lois responded quickly. She hoped not too quickly. "No,
David, really. It's my last evening here; I just want to take it
slow and maybe reminisce a bit. Is that dumb or what?" She
giggled nervously.

"No, it's not dumb. And you go ahead. Take all the time you need.
I'll see you tomorrow." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek,
adding, "At work."

Lois smiled. "Yes sir."

"Well technically, Lois, my being a producer for PNN puts me at
about par with you on the food chain down there. Heading up the
investigative team." David laughed. "Your 'co-administrator'
better be good. He has no idea who he'll be up against!"

Lois sighed. "Not *against* David, *with*. We'll be in this
together. I gave up trying to outdo my partners a long time ago."
She half smiled, remembering what 'a long time ago' meant.
"Anyway, if I hate him, maybe I can just avoid all contact or
something." She winked.

"If you hate him, Lois, I'd hate to even *think* about what you'd
do." David flashed a brilliant grin and turned to leave.
"Tomorrow," he pointed one finger back at her. "Maybe Perry will
even let us in on who this mysterious 'He' is before he shows up.
He'd never tell me, but maybe he'd tell you. He's always had a
soft spot for his Lois."

"What?" Lois mocked. "*Executive Producer Perry White* has a soft
spot?" She grinned. "Well, maybe. Anyway, you better get out of
here. You've got work to do and I need some me-time, so scram."

"Yes, Ma'am." With a tip of an invisible hat, David brushed past
the rows of desks and into an elevator.

Lois turned her attention back to her desk and found herself
staring once more at the happy couple inside of left drawer
number three. What a mess. She sighed. Placing the photo upright
on the desk, she rummaged through some old files before glancing
up at the time. It was getting late. This floor of the building,
at least, was already empty except for her. Moving out of her
office and one desk down toward Judi's, she flipped a switch on
the older woman's radio and felt better when she heard the
calming sound of an evening DJ's voice break the silence. She
walked back over to her office and picked up one of the large
bags she'd be carrying out to her car.

Suddenly, she put it down. The radio hummed softly and she almost
choked when the familiar words to the first stanza of "Fly Me To
The Moon" flowed past her. Perhaps through her. For a moment, she
just stood there listening. And then something silly inside of
her woke up and she picked up the photo. Lois closed her eyes and
rested the smooth face of the glass pane against her chest,
allowing the music to caress her mind. She swayed back and forth,
feeling *connected* to something, however intangible, for the
first time in what seemed like forever. It was such a profound
feeling that she didn't even notice the tear which trickled
slowly down her cheek. She clutched the photo to her and she
could almost feel him ... "

***

High above the buildings of PNN, a 747 jet began to make its
descent into Metropolis from Paris.

***

THE NEXT DAY

"This is a joke, right? Someone knows about, the, about," Clark
stared incredulously at a shorter, balding man who continued to
bustle back and forth across the tiny office, gathering up
miscellaneous odds and ends.

"I'm sure that I have no idea what you are talking about, Mr.
Kent -- and my name is Dan by the way. You don't have to call me
Mr. Rollins. I'm just an administrator, well below your own
position, I assure you."

"Perry White? But that's just ... " Unable to verbalize his
racing thoughts coherently, Clark ended up simply staring
incredulously at Dan.

"Just exactly who is in that office waiting to see you, sir. I
really can't see why you're so upset; he's not so terrible," Dan
leaned in conspiratorially " ... once you get to know him."

"I *do* know him! And I'm not upset, I'm just very -- surprised.
That's all. To be honest, I thought he had retired."

"Well." Dan laughed. "If you know Mr. White, then you must also
know that he probably won't *ever* retire."

"Yeah, yes, you're right. He's waiting you said? Should I just go
on in then?" Clark asked, still trying to sort it all out in his
mind. Of course, Perry wouldn't retire. The man would probably
die of boredom if he gave up working. He supposed that that was
one of the reasons he had always admired Perry so much. He was as
dedicated as anyone could get.

"That's what he said, Mr. Kent. For you to just come on in when
you arrived. By the way, you aren't *single*, are you?" Dan
inquired with a sly smile.

"Actually, no, I'm not." Clark grinned. "But ... thanks." He
turned toward Perry's door.

"Damn." Dan pouted. "The really *good* ones are always taken."

Clark turned the knob on the large oak door and felt it slide
easily inward. The first thing that caught his eye was the
immense floor-to-ceiling windows of Perry's corner suite. You
could probably see most, if not all, of Metropolis from this
office. It was a spectacular view and one which Clark almost got
lost in until his eyes fell on the desk across from him, where
Perry sat leaning over a stack of papers, in obvious
concentration. Clark closed the door behind him and stood there
for a moment while Perry worked, oblivious to his presence. He
had to admit, the Chief looked really *good*. He looked even
better than Clark remembered him looking over a year ago when
things had begun changing at the Daily Planet -- as well as in
Clark's own life -- just before he had left for Europe. This
Perry was definitely a happier Perry. But why that was, Clark
couldn't even begin to speculate. He cleared his throat.

"Chief?" Clark walked slowly toward the older man's desk.

"What is it -- CLARK! When in the King's name did you get here?
And why didn't Dan buzz me? Aww, forget about that. Come here,
son, let me get a good look at you. How's Europe been treating
you?"

Clark laughed. It really was great to hear a familiar friend's
voice again. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed everyone
back here. His friends in France had been wonderful, but Perry
had always been like a kind of an uncle to him. Perry rose from
his seat and extended one hand, which Clark took and shook, only
to be hauled in for a familial-type bear hug. "Great, Chief. It's
all been -- great."

"Well, good for you, son. You've been missed back here. I guess
you know that the Daily Planet sort of flew out by the wayside
round about the time you left. And all ... *this* started!" Perry
gestured around his office. "Mr. Stern's idea of 'advancement'.
Hmm. Well, Planet News Networks has certainly taken the world by
storm." Perry leaned forward and spoke more softly. "But
sometimes, son, I miss the old days of lino-type and the smell of
fresh newsprint. Well, but even the King knew about progress. You
have to move on to keep up. And that's why you're here, Clark. I
guess you've probably figured out by now that I was the one who
asked for you."

"Well, I did have that thought, Chief."

"Ahaha! That's the Clark I remember! Always one step ahead of the
game. You and Lois were always ... " Perry suddenly looked up,
aware of his unintentional faux-pas. Clark swallowed and looked
generally uncomfortable. "Well, you were always a great reporter,
and I always said that --"

"How is she?" Clark interrupted, unaware of any words Perry had
spoken beyond her name. "I-I mean is she still in Metropolis?
When I left she was -- in Japan." Clark pulled self-consciously
on his tie and regarded Perry with what the older man considered
to be a tortured gaze.

"Well son, she's ... "

"Never been better."

Clark felt his heart lodge itself firmly into his throat. Lois.
She was here. She was --

"Perry. What is this all about?" He could hear Lois' voice, soft
and controlled, behind him and he heard her shut the office door.
Clark was almost insanely afraid to turn around. He stared at
Perry, wanting an answer to the same question and desperately
trying to compose himself. He did turn, finally, because it was
the polite thing to do ... and because he could smell her perfume
even from where he was standing. It mingled with the smell of
just *her* that he knew so well -- and he was suddenly helpless
against the cascade of emotions he was feeling. He faced her. And
in that moment, it was much too late.

"Lois," he half whispered. The name rolling easily off his tongue
as though it hadn't been so long since he had spoken it. She
looked at him but did not speak. At least not aloud. But Clark
could see it in her eyes, a firewall of emotions never given in
to, of things left unsaid. The same things, he was sure, she
could see in his own eyes.

"Lois, I'm glad you're here." Perry broke the silence and part of
the tension from behind them. "The thing is, I needed to talk to
both of you. That's the reason I pulled you from PNN's south side
offices. It's also the reason I requested Clark here from the
European merger."

Perry cleared his throat, hyper-aware of the discomfort in the
office. The truth of the matter was that he wanted to explain
things and get OUT of there. Let the two of them talk. The King
knew they needed to talk. Especially if they were going to be
partners again. He hoped he hadn't made a huge mistake in doing
this. Oh, he'd known from the get-go what the risks would be, but
there were some things more important than mergers or money or
even the almighty scoop. It was Lois and Clark who had taught him
that. It was their new love that had helped him make the decision
to take a risk of his own. And he had Alice back in his arms
today because of that risk. To have watched the two reporters
back then, so happy and so much in love, one would never have
been able to reconcile where they were right now. Only two and a
half years later, so much in pain.

Lois and Clark held eye contact and Perry sighed inwardly when he
noticed just how much they seemed to be communicating without
even verbalizing their thoughts. Suddenly, his long and
flamboyant explanation flew right out the proverbial window,
along with his caution. Ceremony be damned. These two needed
time, NOW. "Ahhh, okay. Well, now that you're both here, you'll
need to talk about how the new 'Investigative Division' of PNN is
gonna run. Congratulations. You're partners again, and I don't
wanna hear another word about it because quite frankly, I don't
have the time. If you have any objections you can either quit or
take them up together. I gotta get out to a meeting, so the two
of you can use my office for, well, ah, whatever. But if I hear
that either *one* of you threw a tantrum and left, you're fired.
And don't think I wouldn't do it either. I care about you both as
though you were my own children, but this is it, folks. I've got
a News Network to keep up on its feet. Good luck."

Perry gave them each the sternest nod he could muster and charged
boldly past a gaping Lois, through his office door, shutting it
firmly behind them.

"Dan, NOT EVEN GOD gets into that office until those two come out
in a civil manner. If either one of them leaves in a huff, I want
to hear about it."

Dan nodded, mildly surprised by Perry's seriousness. But the
older man turned gruffly away and headed down the hall, shaking
his head.

***

Silence loomed over Lois and Clark like an enormous fire blanket,
and neither one of them was very willing to shove it away. Lois
watched him, halfway across the office, standing with his hands
shoved into the pockets of his suit like a little boy who knew he
was in trouble. And *Damn* him to hell for playing the victim!
He'd had more than enough time to feel sorry for himself, but it
was quite clear to her now that he was still doing it. What was
worse was that she knew him so well. Knew why he was beating
himself up and it still killed her inside to watch him in so much
pain.

If she went over to him now and took him into her arms and held
onto him -- maybe he would know that she had always been there
for him and that she always would be. Maybe, just maybe he would
let her in this time; let her take some of the enormous pain he
steadfastly refused to share. She took one step at first. Moving
slowly toward him. As if drawn to him, she continued until she
stood only inches away. Standing so close, she could feel the
heat of his body, could smell his aftershave, and it was all ...
the same.. She looked up and found his eyes staring into hers.

Slowly, she raised her right hand upward toward his face. He
didn't move; he just stared, waiting, barely breathing. She felt
his skin for a fraction of a second beneath her palm but then
pulled back, hauling her hand away and bringing it back to slap
him hard across the face.

"Damn you." She brushed by him and stood, looking out the open
window of Perry's office into the dusky sky.

"Lois," Clark turned to her, even as she turned her back to him.
His hand pulled up to touch the skin she had struck; not out of
any sense of pain, but because it was the first time she had
touched him in so very long. He let out a short breath when she
didn't answer him. "Lois ... "

"You never said goodbye." Lois crossed her arms over her chest
and ran her hands over her shoulders.

"I couldn't ... "

"You never wrote, or called."

"I wanted to but I-"

"Coward."

"I know."

Neither one spoke for long moments. Finally Lois hissed
sarcastically. "Perry thinks that he can just wave some magic
wand and it will all be better. That he can throw us together
like the first time and it'll be easy -- "

"The first time? The first time was NOT easy, Lois. Nothing about
us was ever easy," Clark cut in ruefully.

**Except being in love. That was so -- natural.** Lois sighed.
**Falling in love with you was the only thing that was ever
easy.**

"We made it difficult, Clark." She shook her head. "We were
always our own worst enemies."

"And now?" Clark wasn't even sure what he was asking. It was just
what he was feeling.

"Now?" Lois almost laughed. "Now. There is no 'we' anymore,
Clark. Lest we -- forget. We may not be divorced, but we are
legally separated." She reached out and traced the outline of a
building through the window, absently.

"NO, I mean--" Clark stumbled over what it was he was trying to
say. What he really wanted to do was reach out and take her into
his arms. But something inside of him refused to allow him that.

"I'm seeing someone else." Lois' whisper wrenched Clark back into
reality. "I have been for about two months." She held her breath,
waiting for his reaction. Knowing she probably should not have
told him this way. But she was angry and hurt. And he was the
reason. He needed to know what that felt like. She heard him
breathe out and then in again slowly before he responded.

"Me too." He sighed.

This time she turned from the window and regarded him
straight-faced. After a while she nodded silently, and then
turned her head ever so slightly. Her hair was longer now. It
fell just below her shoulders, a deep chestnut brown just like he
remembered it. And it framed her face like an angel. Through all
this, Clark could see the moisture which had been gathering in
her eyes throughout their conversation. Not yet on the verge of
tears, but visibly headed in that direction. If some great claw
had reached in and torn his beating heart from his chest, he
couldn't imagine feeling any more agony than he felt now. So he
made a resolution. If he never did anything more courageous in
his entire life, he would take his pride into his hands and act
on impulse this one time. He had nothing more to lose.

Impetuously, he moved forward and gathered his wife into his
arms; he pulled her body snug with his and wrapped his strong
arms around her. He expected her to pull free, to wrench herself
from his grasp and possibly even slap him again for being so
bold, but she did none of those things. Instead, he heard her
moan softly in the back of her throat; it was the closest to
crying she had come so far, and he felt her arms slide around his
own waist as she clung to him. They held together like that for
several moments. She cried softly, pressing her forehead against
his chest and pulling him even closer. He could feel her hot
tears through the fabric of his shirt and he couldn't get enough
of her. He ran his fingers through her hair and down onto her
back. He rested his head atop hers and breathed in the smell of
her shampoo. It was wonderful ... it was miraculous ... it was--

Suddenly, Lois began to pull away. Clark caught her look of
uncertainty and before she could go any farther, he leaned
forward on one last whim and captured her mouth with his. It was
a hungry, soul-shattering kiss, and Lois let herself fall forward
until she was pressed tightly against him. She opened her mouth
and accepted his questing tongue as she too sought to join with
him. Her arms slid up around his neck and his wrapped around her
waist as the kiss continued, inexhaustibly. Finally, gasping for
breath, Lois parted lips with his and Clark pressed his forehead
against hers. She moved against him one last time and took his
lips gently in a much softer version of the first encounter.
Tasting him and allowing herself to marvel in the feel of his
strong arms pulled around her. Slowly, this kiss too disengaged,
as gently as it had begun and Lois let her arms fall slowly back
down to her sides. She moved backward to stand near him, but no
longer against him.

"That was goodbye, Clark." Lois swallowed and tried to hold her
tears in check. "That was the goodbye we never had."

Clark had known, somehow, that what had just happened was not the
beginning of something. That it was an ending long postponed.
They both had known. He nodded, backing still further from her to
allow her space. She let out a breath and there was silence for a
time.

"Can we work together?" Clark asked the question first.

"I don't know. I guess so." Lois managed in a small voice and
Clark nodded but didn't speak. After a while, Lois spoke,
answering the question she knew was on his mind.

"His name is David." She smiled. "He's a producer for PNN, and
he's really a wonderful man. I think you two could be friends."

"If you care for him, then he must be a wonderful man." Clark
moved with her to one window and they stood side by side, both
looking out at the now-darkened sky.

"Marie."

"What?" Lois turned toward her new, old partner.

"Her name is Marie Rickard and she's-"

"An anchor for TFN, I've seen her work. She's very good." Lois
held her breath and tried not to think about the two of them
together. Clark with this other woman. She had been his first and
insanely she wondered -- did he use any of the things they had
discovered together, making love, on her? Did he make the same
sounds when they were together? Was she--

"Yes, she's very good." Clark continued. "And I think you'd get
along with her too. She'll be here in a few days."

"She's coming here?" Lois wasn't really surprised. There was a
time when she would have followed Clark across the universe,
never mind the tiny sphere of earth. She would have even followed
him to Europe, if he'd let her.

"Yes."

Neither spoke for several seconds.

"Did Perry have time to tell you about the Governor's Ball later
tonight -- around 9?" Lois continued to stare out at the starry
sky as she broke the silence.

"No, are we supposed to be there?"

"Yup." She glanced at Clark and added playfully, "Good guess."

Clark smiled. "Yeah, well, I learned from the best." He felt her
hand brush against his where she stood next to him and resisted
the urge to take it. This was going to be far more complicated
than he had ever envisioned. And while a part of him was joyful
to be near Lois once again, to be able to work with her, another
part was terrified.

Marie would be in Metropolis soon. And that would only make
things more difficult, for all of them. On top of that, Clark
wasn't sure just how he'd be able to ignore the familiar street
sounds which had called him to help so many times before in his
past. One thing was certain. Superman was dead, and no matter
what happened here, there was no way Clark could allow him to be
resurrected. The city had been without him for over two years
already. Initially headlines had speculated that he had left,
gone back to the planet he'd helped save so long ago to be with
his own people. If society had felt hurt or betrayed, they
certainly hadn't made a very big deal over it. Yet another reason
that Superman's disappearance was hardly cause for mourn. No one
cared. The entire media hype lasted for about two weeks before,
it seemed, the world had forgotten he ever existed. Superman was
gone. The question that now remained was simple. What had
happened to Clark Kent?

He looked over at Lois beside him. She hadn't said a word in
several minutes. Neither one of them had. Clark supposed that
they both knew some 'thinking' was in order and had simply given
in to that. But Lois was aware of him watching her. He could tell
by the way that she stood; she knew his eyes were on her. What
was the cliche? The people you feel most comfortable around are
the ones you can stand next to forever and never feel guilty
remaining silent. Clark sighed inwardly. He'd have to get back to
his hotel room and change before the party tonight. Though he
dreaded the idea of seeing Lois in another man's company, he
could hardly deny her that freedom when they had both moved on
and started over. This was, after all, what was best for them.
Wasn't it? He watched her admire the stars through the window and
wondered what kept her here, in this room with him still. What
kept him here for that matter? They had already effectively
finished their conversation and yet neither one of them seemed
willing to leave.

"We should go." Lois vocalized Clark's own thoughts almost
simultaneously.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, I'll be there. Maybe we can talk -- about things--"

"Work--" Clark cut in softly.

"The division, if there's a lull."

"Okay." Clark watched Lois turn from the window and head toward
Perry's office door. He watched her leave through it and then
followed soon after.

For his part, Dan slowly shook his head as he watched Clark pad
softly down the office corridor several paces behind Lois. "Taken
*and* straight. It just isn't fair." He sighed dramatically and
got back to the paperwork on his desk.

***

LATER THAT NIGHT

She was absolutely stunning. Incredible, amazing,
incomprehensibly beautiful. Taken. Clark watched from a distance
as Lois entered the Paradise Room of PNN's private banquet hall
in a long, elegant off-the-shoulder evening gown, and glided
across the dance floor to greet Perry and Alice. Perry and Alice?
That must mean that, well, *that* at least was wonderful news. He
wondered what else he had missed while hiding away across all
those miles of ocean. What else indeed.

Clark set his champagne glass down and moved toward the rear wall
of the banquet room so that he could see her more clearly. It was
a silly, frivolous thing to do, but Clark had finished his own
initially compulsory meet-greets and had been thankfully left to
his own devices. He hadn't really all that much to do now
*except* to watch her. And it had been so long since he had
really been able to see her; so long that he now found himself
drinking up the opportunity like too much fine wine. Intoxicating
didn't even begin to describe what she was doing to him.

**I had her. I had her in my life and I threw it all away.** The
realization struck him like a proverbial Mack truck and rattled
what was left of the loose corners of his mind. This wasn't
exactly breaking news. He had known fairly well what he was doing
for two years. Pushing her away time and time again, believing he
was only ever going to be the fastest road toward heartache for
her. The woman married to the Superman. Only the Superman wasn't
so super. He had let his own parents die. How could he expect to
be able to keep anyone he cared about safe if he couldn't even
take care of his Mom and Dad?

Lois loved him. Once. She loved him enough to try to save him.
But even she knew that there was no saving someone who didn't
want to be saved. And that had been Clark. What he reconciled as
a means of keeping everything from falling apart in his world had
only been a poor, vain excuse to run away from it all. If he had
realized only one thing in Europe, it was this. Yet starting
over, in some ways, had indeed been exactly what he needed. It
gave him back some of his objectivity, and it had allowed him to
put to rest the one person whom he felt was the root of all his
troubles. Superman.

***

"Lois, honey, we appreciate your taking the time to come and talk
to us, and you know that we love you, but I think there's a man
standing right over there that could probably use a little
conversation more than ourselves." Alice smiled at the young
woman in front of her and squeezed Perry's hand.

"Ah, Alice is right, honey ... "

"David's here?" Lois turned toward the entryway of the banquet
hall and scanned the crowd of new arrivals for his familiar face.
"He said he had to work tonight. I don't see him.."

"No, dear, it's not David. It's Clark. Over there." Alice pointed
vaguely in the direction of the rear wall where Clark was indeed
standing. Holding what appeared to be a pad of paper in his hand
and sketching something slowly, in a very focused manner, without
looking up. Lois stood and watched him for a time, from across
the room. Perry and Alice exchanged knowing glances and moved off
toward their table hand in hand, leaving Lois, oblivious to their
departure, to her own thoughts.

A moment later, Clark looked up. There were no super- powers
involved. It had simply been that sixth sense that somehow always
tells of someone watching. Their eyes met from across the room.
Lois watched Clark take in the view of her entire form and she
smiled, self-consciously, but still liking the attention. She
also knew that they couldn't stand there all night gawking at one
another from afar. So she made the first move and crossed the
dance floor, winding her way through a mass of tangled couples,
until she stood face to face with her husband.

"Hi." She could still smell his aftershave, and an insane part of
her wanted him to take her in his arms so she could kiss his
neck, feel his warm skin against hers.

"Hi. I-um, I made it. Though it did take me a while to figure out
which wardrobe the hotel put my tux into." Clark held his breath
and made a mental note to slow his heartbeat.

"A while?" Lois inquired. "Well couldn't you just ~-> ... you
know, take a few seconds and ... "

"I don't do any of that anymore. I never started again."

"Oh." Lois sighed. "Well, that would explain a lot then, I
guess." She reached up impetuously and wiggled his tie before she
realized what habit had made of her. She giggled. "Oh, I'm --
well, your tie was crooked. It's straight now." She tipped her
head down the way she always did when she was a little
embarrassed, and Clark reached out to tuck a lock of wayward hair
behind her ear.

"It's all right. I never was very good at that. When I was
little, I remember Mom used to -- "

Clark stopped suddenly and Lois looked up for an instant before
she realized why. But before there was time for an awkward
silence, Clark continued as though there had never been an
interruption. " ... always scold me that I'd better marry a woman
who had a sense of symmetry or I'd be in trouble." He almost
laughed. "She was right."

Lois saw the dark shadow leave Clark's face as quickly as it had
come, and she felt hope for him for the first time in a long
while. Two years ago, he would have never continued speaking.
"She was right about a lot of things, Clark."

"Well she -- " Clark started, but Lois placed two fingers over
his lips and shook her head.

"A lot of things." She crossed over and leaned against the back
wall, next to him.

"So, do I get to meet David tonight?" Clark inquired, as causally
as he was able.

"Actually, no. He -- had to work. Something about problems with
the dailies in something he's been working on for a while now and
they're going to try and fix it, tonight, of all nights." Lois
sighed.

"I'm sorry," Clark lied. Lois gave him an odd look.

"Yeah, well, I'm very good at picking men with jobs that call
them away at the last second."

She smiled ruefully and Clark couldn't help but do the same. He
turned and faced her. This woman who accepted him in a way no
other ever had. Probably ever would. The one person he had ever
been able to trust completely with *everything*. His soul mate.
He had denied her that trust in the end.

"Lois ... " Clark reached out and took her hand. She appeared a
little startled, but not overly so. And if it bothered her at
all, she didn't pull away. He took a breath. "Lois, sometimes, do
you ever wish that you could -- well, that the things you'd said
-- or -- done, could --" Clark sighed. "I'm not communicating
very clearly here, am I?" He let go her hand self-consciously.

Lois smiled. "Poets often use many words to say a simple thing."

"Fly me to the moon," Clark whispered.

"You remembered." She held her breath as she looked into Clark's
eyes and tried to see what it was he was feeling. This was more
than a milestone for her. It was so much more of a response from
him than she had ever been able to get before he'd left. She
didn't know why, but some of his barriers weren't up this
evening. And she felt both relief that he had let himself heal,
if only a little, and betrayal that he had not let her be there
with him when he did.

"How could I forget?" The moment went on for what seemed like an
eternity. Neither one willing to break the sweet silence that
meant they could just stare into each other's soul for a time.
Finally, Lois spoke.

"What are you drawing?" She tipped her head toward the palm-sized
pad of paper Clark held at his side.

"What? Oh, this. It's just something I do now." Clark grinned
lopsidedly. "You know, you'd be surprised how difficult it is to
do when you have to work so slowly. It's hard to keep your hand
from shaking, but I think I'm getting better at it. Marie says I
was probably an artist in a former life." He laughed at his own
dark humor and Lois raised one eyebrow.

"Okay, so what are you drawing?" She repeated, more than a little
curious.

"It's nothing. Honestly, you really wouldn't care."

"Try me." She fixed him with an 'I dare you to defy me' look and
Clark shook his head, unable, as ever, to refuse her.

"All right. But it's really not very good, it's -- " He tipped
the pad slowly outward and Lois took it into her own hands. Clark
shut up and waited while she studied it for what seemed like
forever.

"Ohh, Clark it's -- "

"Really dumb, I know. Well, I only ever did sketches of bad guys
before, quickly for the police. This is, well, new to me."

"No! No, it's not dumb. It's incredible. It's -- me." She glanced
up at Clark, who had shoved his hands into his pockets once
again. "But I look really -- good. Wow." She took another look at
the pad and shook her head.

"You look beautiful." Clark watched her look up at him, and this
time neither one of them smiled. "Do you want to dance, Lois?"
She looked like she was about to cry. Uh oh. Had he gone too
far?

"Dance. I think I'd love to dance." Clark heard her breathing; it
was only a little irregular.

But if she was feeling anything even close to what he was feeling
right now, he didn't wonder why. Lois set the small pad of paper
down on the table next to them and Clark reached out, taking her
hand gently in his as he lead her out onto the dance floor. Once
there, he realized that this would be more of a challenge than he
had thought.

Dancing with Lois had never been something he'd thought much
about. Not even in the beginning, before they were a couple. It
was always sort of second nature to him; he'd simply known how to
hold her even then. Of course, things had become much more
intimate between them once they had admitted their feeling for
one another. Their embrace, even the way their bodies pressed
together on the dance floor had become far more -- satisfying
after that. But now? Now they weren't exactly anywhere. Not
together, not even trying to *get* together. Well, something was
certainly happening between them tonight, but it appeared to be
more of a final moonlit stroll down a dead-end pier. What would
happen when they got to the end of the dock and David was waiting
there for her? Or Marie for him?

One thing was absolutely certain: no one would ever be able to
make him feel the way that Lois did. Never before and never
after. Clark had always known that, just as he knew that there
would never be another 'love' for him in this lifetime. The fact
remained, however, that Lois was continually in danger whenever
he was near, just as his parents were, and just as anyone else he
cared about would always be. But holding her close to him this
way, in this moment, Clark wasn't sure if he *could* let her go
when the song was over. He knew that he didn't want to, but also
that he should. It was so impossibly complicated and yet so
magically simple all at the same time. Maybe there were no
answers? Maybe there were only questions that had to be answered
together, or not at all.

Clark rested one hand gently at Lois' back and took her offered
hand with his other. Lois smiled and raised her own arm up to
light against his strong shoulder. The music carried the slow
movement of their bodies in tandem and neither spoke at first.
Clark found himself going insane. Wanting so desperately to pull
her closer, to feel her warm body pressed tightly against his. He
raised his eyes and met her own, briefly. Lois caught her breath
and looked discretely downward for a moment, before returning her
gaze to his.

She'd seen that look in his eyes before! She'd waited and prayed
to see it again, so many times in their last year together, but
he'd hidden it from her while she quietly mourned for him. **Oh,
my Clark. Why did you shut me out?** Her mind implored him,
though her voice remained silent. Were things different now?
*Could* things ever be different? She swallowed and fought at the
firewall of emotion which begged her to take him into her arms
right here, in front of everyone.

More out of habit than any conscious thought, she reached up the
hand which had been on his shoulder and smoothed his hair,
smiling when she had it the way she liked it. She let her gaze
trail over the chiseled features of his gorgeous face and along
the corded muscles of his throat. He loved it when she kissed him
there. She remembered the soft groans he used to make when she
touched him, when she brushed her lips gently over his neck. She
trailed one finger over the firm flesh while she languished in
her delicious thoughts and looked up only when she heard Clark's
sharp intake of breath. They both froze.

Lois slowly, reluctantly shifted her hand back onto his shoulder
and Clark swallowed. She was so gentle with him, always. His mind
spun from the effect that just the very tips of her fingers
against the warm skin of his neck had caused inside of him. The
words to a nameless slow song continued to flow through the air
and their bodies reclaimed a previous rhythm. He felt her hand on
his shoulder, and unconsciously began to move his hand gently
over the small of her back. Before Lois was aware of what had
happened, she found herself pressed against the front of Clark's
warm body in a way that was *not* how they had started out.
Caught up in the magic of the moment, Lois let her arm slide down
from Clark's shoulder, over his lapel and inside the folds of his
jacket, against his side. God, he smelled so good. She remembered
what it had been like before, when he would take her in his arms
and hold her close. How she would fold herself into his embrace,
pressed against his chest, his hips, his-- Just losing herself to
the feel of him, of *them* and the way he made her heart so
exquisitely warm. It was incredible then. It was pretty
incredible right now. She wondered if he was also aware of what
had happened to them through out the course of the song. The way
his own arms held her close. But she was too afraid to look up.
She knew that if she pulled away for even that instant, the
moment would end. He would let go of her, and she of him, and
there would be that coldness that she had almost overcome in the
last few months. A coldness that hurt more than she ever dreamed
possible. No, she was not prepared for this moment to end. She
heard Clark sigh and felt him move closer, pulling their joined
hands in toward their bodies, he brushed the side of his head
against hers. Lois shivered.

"Clark?"

Both Lois and Clark froze in their positions as a woman's voice
invoked the interruption for them. Lois sighed deeply and
disengaged from her husband, who opened his eyes and stared
deeply into hers. She felt a rush of conflicting emotions. Most
of them begging her to kiss him.

"May I cut in?"

Clark turned toward the familiar voice and backed two steps away
from Lois, clearing his throat. "Marie!" How had she? He smiled,
trying his best to look as pleased as possible, which, under the
circumstances, he wasn't very. "You're here. I'm -- a little
shocked, I-I mean, I thought you'd be out later next week ... "

Lois stood on the periphery of the couple who were now taking
small steps toward each other. Her heart rate increased and she
held her head up higher than she had been before, though she
remained silent.

"I was." Marie reached out and Clark hugged her awkwardly, trying
not to look at Lois. Trying not to think of Lois. Which was
impossible since she was standing right there; since she had just
been dancing in his arms. "I caught an earlier flight. I wanted
to surprise you." She disengaged and grinned up at him.
"Surprise!"

"Yeah, yes, I mean ... that's great." Clark swallowed and then
remembered his manners.

"Oh, oh, Marie, this -- " He moved aside and indicated where Lois
was standing. " -- this is Lois Lane, my -- "

"Ex. Yes, I've seen your photos. You know, ever since I've known
Clark, he's had those photos up on almost every open surface in
his flat. There are so many, you must have lived in front of a
camera for over a year." Marie laughed and extended a hand in
greeting. "Marie Rickard." Lois cleared her throat, took Marie's
hand and shook it firmly. "Well, I guess we did -- take a lot of
pictures, in the beginning." There was a pregnant pause as Lois
glanced over at Clark and found his expression to be one of quiet
apology. It was so sad; she almost felt like reaching out and
telling him that it was okay, They had both moved on. So then why
did she feel so-

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Lois fanned herself
slightly as her eyes searched for an escape. *Anything* to get
her away from 'Marie Surprise Rickard'. It wasn't that she didn't
like the woman. Well, okay, it was. But up until now, she had
always had a healthy respect for her as a journalist and as an
anchor person. Why should the fact that she was Clark's new ...
whatever ... make any difference to her? Whatever the reason, it
just seemed that it *did* make a difference, and since
rationalizing things wasn't nearly as satisfying as allowing
herself the luxury of disliking the woman immediately, Lois
decided not to fight it. At least for now.

"I am a little warm myself, actually," Marie chimed in sweetly.
"And I just got here. But Clark looks fine." Clark shrugged and
tried somewhat unsuccessfully not to look as uncomfortable as he
was feeling. "In fact," Marie continued, "Clark's the only man
I've ever met who doesn't seem to get hot in a close, crowded
room." She smiled and patted his shoulder.

**I've seen him get hot before,** Lois thought impetuously, and
then mentally slapped herself for the indulgence. She tossed a
look at Clark and understood almost immediately when he swallowed
and returned her another. He hadn't told Marie. She didn't know
about him, or his powers. In fact, Lois wasn't sure if she knew
much about the man in the tux at all beyond the obviously
wonderful way it fit him. To her surprise, and somewhat to her
chagrin, she found herself taking more than a little smug
satisfaction in that fact. In knowing that he still hadn't
trusted someone else with his secret. She was now the only person
alive who knew about who he really was -- or maybe more to the
point -- who he *had* been, once. Yes, that had to be it. He
wasn't telling anyone because he'd closed the book on that
chapter in his life. Or tried to, anyway. Judging by the pathetic
expression on his face right about now, she wasn't at all sure
that he had fully realized *any* of his resolutions over in
Europe.

Did this mean he hadn't slept with Marie either? She was a
beautiful woman, and she hung over Clark even better than Mayson
Drake ever had. How could he have resisted her? But there was so
much she didn't seem to know about him, things that an intimate
relationship *should* have revealed. Lois stifled a sigh of
relief, or maybe it was an irrational form of joy. If Clark truly
hadn't been with this woman, despite all of her obvious charms,
then that might mean-

"You know what?" Lois smiled at Marie. "I think I'm going to get
something to drink. Maybe that will -- cool me off a bit." She
turned, heading out toward a man in black carrying a try of
glasses and Clark watched her go, regretfully. Almost wishing
...

"What?" Clark felt the tug of Marie's hand on his arm and he
turned to her.

"What is it, Clark? You're a million miles away. With Lois, I
think." She watched him with a pleasant enough expression, and
Clark wasn't sure exactly how to respond.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't. Uh, with Lois I mean. She and I were just
dancing -- for old times' sake. It appears that we're going to be
partners again." This time he waited for Marie's response before
continuing. To his surprise, she grinned at him!

"I know. They told me in Paris. To be honest, not that I'm the
jealous type or anything," Clark looked worried. "Because I'm
not," Marie continued, "but I guess that's one of the reasons I
took an earlier flight." She toyed playfully with one of his
lapels. "Well, that and I really wanted to see you."

Clark sighed. She did look very nice, well, very *very* nice in
her dress. But he had been right. Seeing her *and* Lois in the
same room at the same time was difficult to reconcile. It was
something he thought he'd never have to do, so many miles away in
Paris. Hiding from -- himself? Whatever. It was happening now,
and he still had yet to figure out how to handle it. Or even if
he was *supposed* to 'handle it.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very special request right now
... " Clark and everyone else in the room snapped to attention as
one of the members of the band, which had been unobtrusively
playing soft music up until this point, suddenly spoke up. "The
dedication is: To Lovers. Past and Future." The tall band member
went on as the rest of the crowd continued to whisper at their
tables or among themselves while they waited on the dance floor.

"You forgot Present!" Someone threw back, and the group murmured
their amusement.

"No, it was explicitly left out." The man with the mike raised
his eyebrows and the entire room laughed. "All right then, 'Fly
me to the Moon.'"

Clark's heart nearly stopped and he whirled around to face Lois,
who stood across the room from him, staring back. She definitely
looked like she had had the same reaction, but Clark was unable
to respond to her gaze because he felt himself pulled around, his
arms taking another woman into their grasp.

"I guess, since we aren't lovers yet, that could apply to us,"
Marie whispered. Clark cleared his throat, readjusting his
position and trying not to listen to the familiar words of a song
which would only ever remind him of one woman ...

#Poets often use many words to say a simple thing ...

In the far corner of the room, Perry exchanged a glance with
Alice and shook his head. Lois stood off to the side wall of the
banquet hall and looked -- lost. Holding a glass of Chardonnay in
one hand and a dream in the other, she reminded him a little of a
high-school girl at a gymnasium dance.

#With music and words I've been playing,

#For you I have written a song ...

Perry glanced up from his table and moved one hand slowly
forward, pointing at a man in a tuxedo near the entrance to the
Paradise Room. The man nodded and disappeared around the corner.

#To be sure that you'll know what I'm saying,

#I'll translate as I go along:

Clark felt Marie's arms around his neck and he closed his eyes.
He was such a traitor. But all he could think about was Lois, in
this same position, as she had been only minutes ago. It wasn't
fair. It was impossibly unfair and he forced himself to visualize
all of the really good times he had had with Marie in Europe. The
things that had made him care so much about her. It was working
...

**RING**

Clark opened his eyes and was grateful that they hadn't turned in
their position; his back was still toward Lois. But what had that
noise been?

**RING**

He patted his pockets and realized that he wasn't carrying his
cell phone on him this evening. It had to be ...

"Damn. I'm sorry, Clark. I have to take this -- I've only told
three people my cell number over here and it might be important."
She apologized and moved quickly away from him toward the room's
entrance. Clark watched her for a brief moment, but his mind was
elsewhere. It was impossible to concentrate so intently on a
thing and not emerge somewhat confused when reality began to set
itself stubbornly back into place. The music was still playing
...

#Fly me to the moon ...

He began to turn around, slowly.

#And let me play among the stars ...

She was still there. Still absolutely, incredibly breathtaking.
She held half a glass of Chardonnay in one hand and she glanced
down, self-consciously, at the floor when she realized he had
seen her watching him. Lois' sensitivity to these types of
situations was one of the things that had made Clark fall so
head-over-heels in love with her. The way she threw out
'hard-bitten news woman' with one hand and desperately sought
emotional justification with the other. That, and Clark
remembered with a slight smile, just about everything else about
her.

#Let me see what spring is like,

#On Jupiter and Mars,

He moved toward her slowly, not really thinking about it. Not
really caring why. Just ... following something he didn't feel
the slightest urge to fight right now.

#In other words,

#Hold my hand ...

He was either crazy or the music had made him so, yet still he
placed one foot firmly in front of the other, until he stood face
to face with her. She was right next to the band stand, just off
the edge of the dance floor, near a small table. Clark froze; his
gaze locked with hers. And for a moment, neither of them spoke or
moved..

#In other words,

#Darling, kiss me ...

Slowly, she set her glass down on the table next to her and took
two steps toward him.

It was she who finally moved forward, into his arms. She who felt
his hands around her back, moving softly, pulling her closer. She
who lay her head against his chest and felt him sigh beneath her.
There were no words. There didn't have to be. There wasn't
anything that either of them would have allowed themselves to say
anyway.

#Fill my heart with song,

#And let me sing forevermore ...

After all, what could you say to the one person who made your
heart skip a beat every time she looked in your direction? The
one person who held you helpless in his arms every time your body
melted against his? What could you say when you *knew* that there
was no going back ...

#You are all I long for.

#All I worship and adore,

Clark closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of her body
pressed against him. He breathed in the smell of her perfume and
let his fingers trace a slow pattern across the bare skin at her
back. Lois shivered and melted further into his embrace.

#In other words,

#Please be true;

If there were any justice in the universe, this song would never
end. Lois felt her mind reach out to *any* deity that might
listen. She didn't know if Clark had any idea of what his soft
caress at her back was doing to her. The way she had to
consciously keep herself from shivering as his fingertips brushed
against her skin. The way she longed to press her entire body
deeply into his and take his mouth in the most primal, desperate,
urgent kiss imaginable ...

#In other words,

Clark looked down at Lois, whose eyes were closed as they clung
to one another, experiencing their song, one last time, together.
He was feeling a thousand different things, the most urgent of
which was an aching, pulsing, agonizing heartache, begging him to
satisfy himself with her the way he'd dreamed of for so long
since their separation. She opened her eyes, large and luminous,
dark with pent-up desire. Clark thought they were more beautiful
than he had ever seen them before. Her lips were soft and moist
and parted ever so slightly, and he KNEW.

#I love you ...

Her arms reached up around his neck and he shifted his body
against hers as the music, by some miracle, continued. Clark felt
her breath against his skin and then, at last, the brush of her
lips against his own. God, it was so sweet, so incredibly
sensual, and he felt her instinctively press forward to deepen
the encounter. She was so soft, so-

"Clark?"

What? Oh God, that was Marie! What if she had ... no, he had
picked her voice out from across the room. She hadn't seen them
yet, but her call had been loud enough to hear, even without
superpowers. Suddenly, as if on some diabolical cue, the entire
moment had been shattered. Lois' body stiffened and straightened
in his arms and the two disengaged, breathing deeply and staring
into one another's eyes, not entirely sure how to proceed.

But there wasn't time to decide because Marie would certainly see
him in a few seconds. Clark's shoulder's fell a little and he
began to turn away from Lois, toward Marie's direction for the
inevitable encounter. But suddenly, inexplicably, Clark found
himself once again face to face with a slightly defiant looking
Lois Lane, who had slipped around and in front of him. He saw her
eyes glistening with moisture, though her head was held high and
then, somehow, they were kissing again. Hungrily, their hands
urgently exploring one another's bodies, in the most incredibly
sensual way and in the midst of so many other dancing couples. It
was absolutely primal, exhilaratingly exquisite. And then it was
over. Almost as suddenly as she had embraced him, Lois stood
back. Letting out a long breath and licking her already moist
lips, she gazed into his dark eyes for what seemed like an
eternity. Until he reluctantly turned in the direction of Marie's
voice once again. He cast one last glance over his shoulder as
Marie came forward into his arms, but Lois was gone. And it had
all been so impossibly uncontrollable, he wondered if she had
ever even been there to begin with.

***

Across the lobby, a man in a dark suit slipped his cell phone
into a jacket pocket and smiled. Mr. White would be pleased.

***

Marie slipped her phone back into her purse and frowned. It was
so strange that someone from work would call her this late at
night, and at a party they all knew about, just to remind her of
tomorrow's lead-ins. What was even stranger was that she didn't
remember giving her new cell number out to anyone at the studio.
Yet somehow ... well, whatever it was, it wasn't interfering with
any of her other plans right now, so what did it really matter?
Marie smiled as Clark accepted her hug, then she pulled away to
speak.

"So, stranger, did you get to enjoy that last song, at least? I
know you like it; I've heard you listening to it nights in your
flat. But when I've gotten there, you've always turned it off."
She frowned slightly and then shook her head. "You know what I
don't get about men? Why they are always too shy to let the world
know they're real romantics at heart. That song is so ... "

"Yeah." Clark sighed but then quickly found his reserve once
again. "Anyway, you're back now; was it important?"

"Oddly enough, no. It was just the studio. I have no idea how
they got my number or why they called so late."

"Oh, well, all right, I- um, I guess we don't have to stay here
late tonight. We could -- go. If you want." Clark glanced over
his shoulder once again in a last-ditch attempt to catch a
glimpse of where Lois might have disappeared to, but she was
nowhere to be seen. He sighed, softly, sadly, and looked back at
Marie.

"Yes, actually," Marie moved in closer and whispered against him.
"I was thinking that we might leave a little early and -- "

**RING**

Clark swallowed and couldn't believe how relieved he had been to
hear that noise once again. He shouldn't have been relieved at
all. But he had been. His encounter with Lois had been so
incredibly sensual and yet so heartbreakingly sad all the same.
Clark took in a deep breath, remembering her hands against his
arms, his neck, the way her breath felt against his skin. She
tasted so sweet. Clark shifted in his position, finding that he
was now larger in places he wished he wasn't and desperately
praying that Marie would not notice. They had never talked much
about being together intimately, but the thought of spending even
one moment in that way with any woman other than Lois made Clark
almost ill with guilt. That, and he didn't think that he could
ever want or need anyone the way he wanted and needed Lois Lane.

**RING**

Marie sighed, exasperated. "This will -- just be a few minutes,
sweetheart, I promise." She tipped her head up and kissed his
cheek quickly before moving off once again toward the relative
quiet of the lobby.

Clark watched as Marie scurried out toward the coat check area
and then disappeared. Thoughts of Lois continued to arouse him
and he was more than a little confused and anxious. Mostly, he
wanted to get out of there. Away from his feelings and far from
the intense reminder of Lois' body against his.

Superman suddenly needed some air.

Slowly, Clark scanned the room and then, finding what he had been
looking for, headed in the direction of a small doorway. PNN's
main building was enormous, and they had designed it with small,
office-like boardrooms accessible even from the banquet hall. One
never knew just when an urgent meeting would have to take place,
even at a social gathering. Clark smiled. Lois probably loved the
new building. Making his way through the table and chairs, and
the bodies seated in them, Clark found himself sliding quickly
and quietly through the doorway, shutting it softly behind him
and sighing inwardly as the rush and hubbub of the party beyond
fell silent.

He was greeted by a dark, empty room. A dozen or so leather
executive chairs stood guard around a Chippendale oak table, and
floor-to-ceiling windows looked out, a short three stories over
the city street. Light filtered in from the street lamps below,
and from the stars, but Clark decided against the ceiling
fluorescents. All he wanted to do was unwind, and this certainly
seemed as ideal a place as any.

And so he stood, looking out at the city, listening to the sound
of his own breathing and not surprisingly, thinking of Lois.
Reaching out, he pulled a chair forward from behind him and sank
into it, grateful for the executive comfort it offered his
traitorous body. But now, something was different. In the
darkness he could hear the sound of soft breathing -- or was it
--

Turning in his chair, he moved the chair next to him aside,
slowly, and then stopped suddenly, letting out a breath.

"Lois."

Lois sat, or rather perhaps she lay, curled up in the large
chair, her dress folded underneath her, her legs pulled inside.
She had been asleep. That much was obvious, but now she was
awake, and it was very clear to Clark that she had been crying.

"Lois." Clark whispered again as he reached out a hand and
brushed her hair back behind her ear, gently. "What's wrong?" He
had to ask. Assuming he knew the answer would be arrogant, and
besides, asking gave him *something* coherent to say to her now,
when all he really wanted to do was gather her into his arms and
hold her. Lois breathed in slowly, aware now that she had been
crying in her sleep, and even in wakefulness, feeling a sense of
overwhelming sadness wash over her.

"Clark." Lois acknowledged both his presence and his awareness of
her current -- situation. She sighed softly before continuing. "I
don't know."

Bowing her head, Lois tried somewhat unsuccessfully to quell her
newly impending tears. "I mean ... " Lois stood up slowly and
made her way toward the window before turning back to face him. "
... I just came in here before, to get out of all the noise after
-- "

She glanced at him and he looked as though he completely
understood her. In that moment, she wanted him to hold onto her
more than she had ever wanted anything in her entire life. Or at
least, it felt that way. But she continued instead. "I guess I
was watching the lights in the city and I just curled up in a
chair the way we used to, by the fire, only there was no fire
here, but for some reason I still felt -- " Her voice trailed off
into silence and neither spoke for a moment until Lois looked up
once again. Her eyes shone with new and ready teardrops. She
shook her head, unable to speak. Clark thought that his heart
would twist out of his chest at her admission. **Lois, I do love
you; I need you. I want to make this right again! But I don't
know how! I don't even know if I have the right to try.** Clark's
mind screamed in frustration and anguish and his body moved
forward in the chair of its own volition.

When she did not move, but continued to hang her head, Clark
stood. He came forward and pulled her gently into his arms,
rocking with her back and forth until she began to cry in
earnest. He used every ounce of willpower in his body to keep his
own emotions in check as he tightened his arms around her and
moved them both back into the chair. Lois clung to him as though
it would save her soul. Clark could not remember having seen her
this way before, not even when he'd held her in her apartment
soon after they'd met, when she feared for her life after
witnessing a crime.

Right now, she seemed a lot like a little girl, and yet, this was
no little girl he held in his arms. She had fought off men twice
his size in the past and had come out 'on top.' Lois ducked her
head underneath Clark's chin as she held onto him, and Clark
shifted sideways to accommodate her, pressing his face into her
hair. Feeling the softness of her and needing her there as much
as she needed him. Through the windows, the light from the city
filtered in and shimmered off of her hair, making the tiny trails
of silent teardrops sparkle against her skin.

Clark let his hands move down her arms from her shoulders in a
comforting way, letting her cry and trying desperately not to go
there himself. He knew now. Where things had been painfully
unclear before, they were so apparent in this very moment. And he
had never been more wrong, or felt more like a coward.

He felt Lois inhale deeply and press the side of her face tightly
against his chest. If she could allow herself to let him hold her
now, after everything, and take solace in his arms, then why
couldn't he have let her offer the same when he'd needed it?
There were no easy answers, but after two years, one thing was
abundantly clear -- it was a matter of trust. She trusted him to
comfort her. And him? He had ... not given her that same trust.
Oh, God, what had he done?

"Oh, I do trust you, Lois," Clark murmured softly. "God help me
for not telling you two years ago. I've always trusted you." He
sighed, though he wasn't even aware that she had heard him.. Lois
turned in his arms until she could see into his eyes, and she
searched them for a moment. There was so much pain there,
longing, regret, despair, and incredible strength even so. That
was Clark. He kept all the pain and the horror of his life
inside. Maintaining some impossible struggle to keep everyone he
loved safe from harm ... even emotional harm. Lois knew all about
bottling things up. She understood how crazy and intense things
could become, and how out of control they could get. Even a
Superman couldn't last forever that way.

And then there was her Clark. She loved him so completely and
utterly that sometimes she wondered if the rest of the world
could even understand the bond they shared. It had always been
the most intense, most wonderful feeling she had ever
experienced. And it had nearly killed her when he wouldn't let
her in, wouldn't let her help him or touch him emotionally, when
he needed that so much.

And now? Well, there wasn't anything she could bring herself to
say right now. Breaking eye contact, Lois slowly lowered her head
back onto Clark's chest and sighed deeply. She heard Clark do the
same and felt his arms continue to caress hers. Where were they?

They were on their first night of Clark's return to Metropolis,
and already they had found themselves in each other's arms three
times. That was almost more intimate contact than Clark had
allowed himself to have with her for the final year before their
separation. If their situation had been somewhat different, Lois
might have laughed at the irony in that. But for right now,
holding onto Clark seemed like the only sure and solid thing Lois
could do. Something was different. Clark was different. And Lois
wasn't sure what had changed in him, or how, but despite any
rational thought to the contrary, she was unable, and her
traitorous body was completely unwilling, to push him away when
he held her like this.

It was him, she decided. Clark had been so hopelessly lost
before; Lois could never have stood to see him in so much agony.
Helping others had always kept a measure of Clark's sanity and
purpose intact. Helping her, helping *them*, had kept them both
whole and strong -- together. Things had only begun to fall apart
the day that Clark had stopped letting them keep each other
strong.

Clark could sense that she was thinking. Her soft crying had
stopped some time ago and ever since she'd turned and looked at
him in a way that made him feel like she had found a way to see
into his very soul, he'd known that she was making some sort of a
decision. But he had never been very good at second guessing Lois
Lane. No one could. That was, perhaps, one of the reasons he'd
fallen in love with her. She was his equal, in every way that
mattered.

Clark inhaled deeply, taking with his breath the smell of Lois'
shampoo and that innate knowledge he always felt silly about, the
one which made him hyper-aware of how soft her hair was. It made
him feel almost giddy. But overwhelming even that sensation was
the one which held him apart from her. The one which held them
both at emotional arms' length despite their physical closeness
at the moment. He wished he could do more than let his fingers
brush against her arm, comforting her. He wished that he could
--

*Click*

Clark wasn't sure what happened first. Had the door opened? Or
had Lois suddenly disappeared from his arms and reappeared by the
window an instant later? The two events seemed almost
simultaneous to him, despite any Super Senses which he could have
been (but hadn't been) using. The door *did* open, and Lois was
certainly now standing silhouetted against a floor-length window
overlooking the city lights below.

"Perry." Clark rose from his seat to greet the man who now stood
in the doorway, staring in an almost paternal way at both himself
and at Lois. A decidedly Perry-like stare certainly. Clark tried
to smile and even made it halfway. "I just ca-- *we* just came in
here to --"

"Breathe" "Talk"

They had both spoken at the same time and Clark shook his head.
It was happening all over again, wasn't it? Was that the way
history worked? Doomed to repeat the same simple steps over and
over and over again, until all you really wanted was some ...

"We needed some space, I guess." Lois spoke softly and Clark
glanced up at her, not quite surprised that she had finished his
thought, but somewhat struck by the realization that he wanted to
feel this way again almost as desperately as he wanted to run
right out of the room and take the next flight out of
Metropolis.

She smiled at him then. She smiled, and all of it somehow simply
... went away. His fear, his thoughts of leaving, his ability to
speak.

"Son?"

It was then that Clark knew he had been staring. Looking straight
at her, maybe inside of her. Oh, not in the traditional "X-ray"
way, but in his own personal, emotional way. In 'their' way of
somehow being able to know and understand each other's innermost
feelings and desires. She was so ... hurt by him.

He looked up, away from her liquid eyes and faced Perry. "I'm --
sorry, Chief, Lois." He afforded her a glance before continuing.
"I know I wasn't listening, it's just -- there's been a lot on my
mind tonight. I just got back here and it's taking time for me to
settle in, I guess. Anyway, I think I just need a little rest. I
hope you don't mind. I'm going to see if I can find Marie and
take her home. I need to go home. I need -- Look, um,
goodnight."

Clark nodded to the Chief and made his way quickly past the
smaller, yet no less significant man in the doorway. He didn't
even stop to look at Lois this time. He needed to go home? Home?
Where exactly was that here? He sighed and hurried through the
substantially less crowded dance floor. Better go find Marie and
get them both out of here before he lost any more of his answers
to ... Her.

***

Lois sighed and Perry shook his head before walking slowly into
the room. He watched her standing near the window, not really
focusing on any one thing in the room, and for the first time in
a long time, he felt angry. Angry at Clark for being this way,
angry at himself for not being able to help the two kids he
thought of just as fondly as he did his own children.

"Ohh, honey. Ah, I guess I can talk to you alone, though I had
wanted to speak with you both." Perry tossed a look over his
shoulder at the empty doorway. "Are you all right with this,
Lois? I know that sometimes I can get some really hair-brained
ideas into my old head and if you feel like -- "

"No." She cut him off, smiling slightly. "No, Perry, it's fine.
We're fine. I mean, there is no *we*, so everything is just --
fine. Really."

Perry looked at her as though she had just told him that she was
about to skydive out the window without a parachute. But whatever
he was thinking, he didn't say it. Instead, he simply nodded,
more to himself than anyone else, and let out a breath. "Do you
need a ride home, honey? Alice and I can take you; it's getting
late."

"Sure, yes. I'd appreciate that, Perry. I've had ... well, I
guess I don't remember how many glasses of wine I've had tonight.
That's probably a good idea." Lois smiled again and let Perry put
an arm around her and lead her from the conference room. Tomorrow
was another day after all. Another day at work. Another day --
with Clark. Oh, heaven have mercy.

***

Clark stopped in the foyer of PNN's enormous building. Marie was
nowhere to be found, and he was becoming more than a little
worried. She'd said she had only a phone call to complete, so
where was she? He sighed, resisting the urge to look for her with
his powers. No, if he was to be simply a man again, he would need
to forget that he even had those abilities. Clark grimaced when a
tiny corner of his mind intruded rudely to the fore with the
comment that if it were Lois who was missing in this way, he
would probably already have broken all his personal vows of
inaction to find her. But that was different. That was different
because, because, well, because Lois had a penchant for getting
herself into trouble in a way that no other person he'd ever met
had. She could certainly always -- Now was not the time to be
thinking of Lois! Clark chastised himself and concentrated on
finding Marie. She had to be here somewhere. She was too new to
the city to be on anyone's hit list. And he knew her better than
to believe she would have ventured out into the night street when
she knew almost nothing about the city.

"Marie?" Clark called into the partially filled foyer. Couples
were entering and exiting the building at a fairly regular pace,
but he couldn't see her anywhere. "Marie?" Suddenly he felt two
female arms on his back and he spun around.

"Marie! You had me worried! I'm sorry; I -- um ... shall we go?
It's getting late and I'd like to get to bed at a reasonable hour
tonight, seeing as -- " Marie cut off his babble mid-sentence.

"All right." Marie reached up and patted Clark's arm softly. "I
think we should -- "

" -- talk." Clark finished for her.

"How did you know?" she chimed, smiling playfully.

"I was thinking the same thing, well, about the talking anyway."
Clark smiled sadly and linked his arm with Marie's, guiding her
toward the heavy double doors at the building's entrance. "But
not here. The hotel room?"

Marie gave a low chuckle. "How could I refuse an offer like that,
Mr. Kent?"

Clark sighed and ducked his head down with the appropriate amount
of modesty. As he looked up, he caught sight of the other end of
the room and stopped his head mid- motion.

Across the floor, Perry and Alice were putting on their
respective coats. Lois was with them and he heard her laugh as
Perry helped her on with her uncooperative car coat.

Clark sighed. Lois turned just then, and for a brief moment their
eyes locked. Her expression seemed impassive. If she minded that
he was holding another woman, it didn't show on her face, but she
looked almost --

"Clark? Are you all right?" Marie's voice brought him out of his
trance and he turned his head around to face her, realizing that
he must have looked odd from her angle.

"I'm -- fine." He cast a quick glance at Lois who caught his eyes
again and then looked away just as quickly. He frowned. "Just a
bit of a headache, I guess. Strange. Maybe it's still the jetlag.
I haven't traveled extensively in a long time; I'm probably not
used to it anymore." He smiled ruefully and felt Marie's soft tug
on his arm. In seconds, they had made their way across the room
and outside into the cool night air.

***

Lois slipped the key into the lock of her elegant one- bedroom
apartment and wiggled it until it clicked and the door slid
quietly open. It was a nice apartment, a lease she had taken over
four months after Clark had left Metropolis. The brownstone
they'd bought after their honeymoon had been wonderful, certainly
within her new and much improved salary range, but there was too
much of ... Clark for her to remain there comfortably. It was the
memories that had hurt her most afterwards. And she wondered how
and why he could have done what he did in taking off, never even
calling to say goodbye. There had been nothing then, except a
single white rose on her pillow when she'd come home from work
that evening.

The hurt, the anger, the maddening, soul-shattering ache she'd
felt when Perry gave her Clark's message the next day and she
realized he never intended to come back; all of it reeled anew
inside of her tonight, and she fought her feelings the way she
had learned to long ago.

Dropping her purse onto a nearby chair, Lois pulled her earrings
off and headed toward the bedroom with a deep sigh.

***

Clark sat on the edge of his bed and started to remove his tie.
Marie moved quickly from one end of the hotel room to the other,
dropping two ice cubes into a glass and pouring herself some
water from a nearby pitcher. She made her way around the side of
the bed and sat next to Clark, holding her glass in her lap with
both hands.

"So ... " Marie smiled and watched as Clark fidgeted with his
tie.

Finally, he gave up, placing his hands in his own lap. "You know,
it's always worse when you plan on having a conversation, isn't
it?" He chuckled and Marie followed his lead.

"I guess that depends on what you plan on talking about," she
said matter-of-factly.

Clark nodded in agreement. "Right. Well, that's actually -"

"It's Lois, isn't it?" Marie cut in, nodding as she spoke. Her
hands trembled in her lap and a small drop of water spilled over
the edge of her glass.

Clark dropped his head to his chest and then lifted it again.
"Marie-"

"I could see, Clark. I mean, at first I pretended that it wasn't
there, and then that it didn't matter, but it was so obvious. I
saw the way you were looking at her. I saw the way she was
looking at *you.*"

Clark glanced at his hands in his lap. Marie went on, the tremor
evident in her voice despite her best 'news anchor' training.
Clark had to admire her courage.

"You're still in love with your wife, aren't you?"

A heavy silence fell over the room and Clark swallowed. This
wasn't exactly what he had intended to happen, but then, nothing
ever seemed to work out the way he intended where women were
concerned.

"Marie. I care about you -- so much. You're more special to me
than you can ever know," he began.

"But?" Marie tried to smile, but was losing her ground rapidly.

"But -- I wasn't fair to you." He found her eyes and held them
for a moment.

"I see." She looked away and Clark could see the tears in her
eyes. "I mean I- " she trailed off and turned away from him
completely. Clark reached around and turned her slowly back
toward him. Hurting her was the last thing in the world that he'd
ever wanted to do and yet --

"Marie ... if Lois wasn't --"

"But she is, Clark. She is." Marie wiped her eyes with the tips
of her fingers and took his hand in hers.

"I know." His voice was almost a whisper. "I just -- I don't want
to hurt you anymore. It isn't fair to you."

" -- and it isn't fair to you, either. I've known you for a while
now, Clark. Long enough to know that you are the most sensitive
and caring man I have ever met. I know that I was falling in love
with you ... " She blushed slightly, but continued on, boldly. "
... but I'm not blind, and I've known from the beginning that
there was always someone else. When I saw your loft, all those
pictures everywhere ... I knew."

"You knew?" Clark laughed slightly, despite himself. "Well, that
makes one of us." Clark's rueful tone saddened Marie even as it
made her smile at its sweet charm. It was always that boyish
naivete which contrasted so sharply with a keen and wise
intellect beyond his years that had attracted her to him from the
very beginning.

"Well, that," Marie began, "and the fact that you never seemed
ready to make love." She colored slightly at the admission.

"Marie ... that was *not* because I didn't find you attractive. I
did. I mean I *do*. But it's just that-- " Clark fumbled for the
right words and knew he was failing miserably. How do you tell a
woman you care about that you've never wanted her intimately
because you don't think you *could* ever want any other woman
except one. Lois held captive his soul just as surely as she did
the desires of his body, and she never even had to try.

"She does love you, Clark." Marie cut in softly, lessening the
tension, letting him know without so many words that she
understood. "Any woman can see that in another woman's eyes. And
Lois Lane has got it just as badly as you do." She forced a smile
and Clark regarded her with an expression of desperation and
frustration. He wanted to know how she knew, he wanted to ask
her, but he knew that asking would probably only hurt her
further. Unforgivable.

"Marie ... "

"We had quite a trip though, didn't we?" She laughed through her
tears and Clark stopped talking and squeezed her hand instead.
"No regrets?"

"Not one." He smiled at her and brought her toward him for a
long, deep hug. She clung to him tightly for a time, and then let
go, surveying his rumpled shirt and half- hanging tie.

"Lois Lane is a lucky woman."

Clark frowned slightly. "I don't know if Lois and I can ever go
back to the way things were, Marie. I hurt her so badly. I know
that now. It's all just so complicated." Clark sighed sadly,
shaking his head. "But I do know that I can't keep doing this to
us, to me and you. I never wanted to hurt you." There was an
uncomfortable pause before Clark continued. "It would probably be
better for everyone if I stopped trying to do this whole 'love'
thing altogether." His lip twisted up into a half-smile, and he
absently rubbed the back of his neck.

Marie suddenly looked serious and took both of his hands in hers.
"Clark, promise me one thing?"

He nodded, uncertain.

"Stop running." Clark looked up in surprise at her words.

"There's only so far you can go before you realize you're on your
way back to where you came from. Life's like that. And I don't
want to see you hurt." She squeezed his hands briefly. He shook
his head.

"Marie, I don't know if I deserve- "

"You deserve to be truthful with yourself, Clark. Be honest
here." She tapped his chest affectionately. "You can't live with
yourself -- even alone -- if you're not. Trust me, I've been
there." She pulled his tie the rest of the way off and tossed it
onto the bed as she stood.

"I better go. I've got airplane reservations to make." She smiled
and Clark stood.

"You just got here --" He offered her her coat and she took it.

"I know, but I guess I came to say goodbye ... or to let you say
it. I guess I was hoping that I'd get here and everything would
be magical between us, but I think inside I knew that I'd already
lost you. That's why I had to come early, while I could still
stop my transfer. I was jealous of a woman I'd never even met,
and my instincts are usually good." She gave him a little smile,
then broadened it into a grin. "But tell Lois not to worry; I
swear I'm not the violent type."

Clark returned her smile. "I know you're not." He kissed her
cheek. "You're wonderful."

Taking hold of the door handle, she slid it open and then turned
back into the room. "Good luck," she announced, shoving one hand
into her pocket. "Being back here in the US reminds me of why I
hate it!"

Clark smiled back and nodded. "Take care of yourself, Marie."

"I will." She inclined her head, touched her fingers to her lips,
then held them out toward him. "Bon soir, mon cher."

And then she was gone. The door clicked shut and Clark was left
standing there, staring at the blank reminder of her presence and
wondering if his life could possibly become any more complicated
than it had already.

***

"Absolutely!" Lois' excited tone turned several heads in the work
area outside of her own large office enclosure, and she put her
hands to her smiling lips. "Okay," she whispered several decibels
lower, "will the D.A. be able to get him to testify?"

Judi shook her head until it became almost a circular motion,
shrugging her shoulders.

"I'll take that as a definite maybe." Lois grinned and then put
both hands on her hips, adding, "You know, I never told you how
great it is that they let me have you back as an assistant, Jud.
You've been indispensable to me. I didn't know what I was going
to do when Jimmy took off in search of his career." She rolled
her eyes dramatically and both women laughed. "But, I guess I
can't blame him; I used to know that same excitement about being
a reporter." Lois' expression suddenly took on a far-off look and
Judi raised her eyebrows.

"Excuse me? Am I talking to *the* Lois 'reporter extra-ordinaire,
get out of my way or I'll step right on over you, nobody gets
there first' Lane?" The older woman tapped her on the shoulder
and Lois dissolved into a fit of helpless laughter, sinking down
to the floor against an expensive mahogany desk, just one of the
few perks her new position had allotted her. She pulled her knees
up to her chest like a little girl and laughed while Judi stood
watch over her, frowning in odd contrast to the giggling woman
beneath her.

"Lois," Judi's voice was soft as she spoke to the younger woman.
"I worry about you sometimes, honey. You're so strong and
independent. You against the world-"

"That's right!" Lois continued to laugh softly. "Me against- "
she suddenly broke off her sentence and sighed.

"That's what I mean. Are you sure you're okay? I've worked with
you long enough to know that when you get --" Judi was unable to
finish her sentence however since Lois began to laugh once more,
dissolving into helpless giggles.

"I'm *fine*, Judi, I swear, I'm- " As suddenly as her laughing
had begun, Lois' eyes filled with tears and she was crying,
placing one hand to her lips as though she herself were shocked
at the intense turnaround of emotions. She sucked in a breath and
gave up trying to fight any of it. Judi moved quickly and quietly
to the large office doorway and shut it. She turned around,
seeing tears making shiny trails down Lois' cheeks.

Lois looked up at the older woman, her eyes large and shimmery.
Her voice broke as she spoke softly.

"I don't know ... I don't know what to ... " Lois trailed off as
Judi came around the desk and plucked several tissues off a box
on top of it. She moved beside Lois and sat herself down next to
the reporter, head of the Investigative Division at Planet News
Network. She took a little girl into her arms and rocked with her
back and forth, listening to the soft sounds of her crying and
feeling for the first time in such a long time, that she truly
had a daughter. She never believed she would ever know that joy.

"Shh, it's all right, Sweetie. You're all right. You're going to
be just fine." She whispered soothingly, and Lois sucked in yet
another strangled sob. Several moments later, Lois brought the
end of an offered tissue up to her eyes and dabbed at them
carefully. She took a deep breath and hugged Judi before pulling
away.

"Thank you." She smiled at the older woman who nodded, giving her
a concerned, caring look.

"You wanna talk about it?" Lois glanced at Judi once and then
smiled a shy-smile. She lowering her head and let out a short
breath. Judi recognized the sign immediately. It was a "no." This
time. She pulled herself up against the desk until she was
standing once again and then watched Lois do the same thing.

"All right, I won't pry." Judi smiled and Lois returned the
favor.

"You never do. You're a wonderful person." The young executive
turned and stared out of a large floor-to-ceiling office window
-- a signature PNN window. Every major office had these. She
cleared her throat. "It really is a beautiful view, you know?"
She turned around once more but Judi was gone. Lois could see her
filing papers just outside her office door, at her own desk. She
shook her head and sat down in the large executive chair,
squeezing its arms with a perplexed frown.

Lois looked around. The office really was large. Two of her Kerth
awards sat in an elaborate display case along with several other
precious items of her possession which she had opted to keep at
work instead of home. Artwork she didn't own, but might have
liked to, hung from each of the office's four walls and gave the
room a sort of somber wisdom she doubted was contagious. A soft
knock on her door startled her and she looked up, uttering the
word "Yes," out of habit at the same time.

"Lois, are you busy?"

***CLARK*** Lois couldn't believe how relieved and happy she was
to see him standing there. He had been the object of the most
confusing, conflicted feelings she had had in over two years. She
was angrier at him than she thought she had ever been in her
entire *life*, and yet, the sight of him standing there, in her
doorway, with his perfect suit and his slightly off-key tie
caused a rush of warmth and a feeling of inexplicable contentment
to flow over her traitorous body even so.

"No, no, I am not busy." She glanced once again around the
strange room surrounding her. "Actually, I have no idea *what* I
am right now, but busy -- busy isn't it."

Clark smiled his patented 'nervous' smile. Lois felt a pang of
remorse for him. She quelled it immediately and began to gather
paper absently from around her desk. "So, how do you like your
new office?" she chimed in conversationally and Clark stepped
inside, putting his hands in his pockets and looking around.

"Actually, I like yours better."

Lois almost choked. "What?" She looked up quickly and Clark
tensed at her response, gesturing quickly toward a window.
"Western exposure." He replied as casually as he could -- which
wasn't very. "I got the northeast corner. I'll bet you can see
the sun setting from here."

"Oh, yes. I hadn't thought about it, actually." Lois turned and
glanced outside of her west window. "But otherwise?" Okay so she
was making conversation. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't as though
she had flown from her chair on the moment of his entry, launched
herself into his arms and kissed him hungrily, the way that she'd
wanted to.

Breathe, Lane.

" -- beautiful." Lois caught the tail end of Clark's remark and
shook her head, indicating that she'd failed to catch the
beginning of it. "I said otherwise it's really beautiful." He was
looking straight at her. "Actually, I did come here for a
reason," Clark added quietly. Lois found her eyes inescapably
drawn to his.

"Yes?" she almost whispered. Clark opened his mouth to speak
again but never got the chance.

"Hey, gorgeous -- " Another man's voice preceded another man's
body as his head tipped around the corner of her office and
brought with it the entire man, carrying flowers. He stopped
mid-stride, however, when he caught Lois' gaze shift up toward
him in surprise and noticed her company.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had ... " He floundered a
moment before regaining his composure. He stuck out his hand and
grinned suddenly. "Where are my manners? David Morris."

Clark took the offered hand and shook it firmly and courteously.
"Clark Kent." David didn't flinch. In fact, he smiled as warmly
as any business man meeting another for the first time might.
Clark tossed a questioning look toward Lois, which she noticed,
but failed to respond to. Either that, or she simply decided not
to.

Lois folded her hands on her desk and tried to pretend her
insides weren't doing the shimmy shake with an armada of
butterflies. "Clark," her voice cut in, "David is a producer for
PNN. David, Clark Kent is my new partner for the investigative
division." She smiled congenially at both men and David nodded,
grinning.

"Well, actually, 'new' isn't -- " Clark began.

"Are you here for our lunch date?" Lois cut in, shooting Clark a
dark stare and then quickly turning her attention back to David,
who didn't seem to have noticed the exchange.

"Yeah, yes, I am. Sorry to have barged in like that. I had no
idea you were in a meeting and Judi wasn't at her desk, so I just
-- well, I can come back later, if you'd like." David glanced at
both Clark, who tried valiantly to keep the fixed smile he'd
created glued to his face, and Lois, who suddenly stood up.

"No, actually, I think we were through here. Right, Clark?" She
smiled a 'friendly' smile at Clark, who nodded slowly, a sinking
feeling swelling in the pit of his stomach.

"Yeah. We can get back to ... this, later." He returned the fake
smile and Lois looked away, linking her arm in David's as he
escorted her through the door, leaving Clark by himself in the
large office.

***

David sat across from Lois at the small table they'd reserved for
lunch. Max's wasn't an incredibly expensive place to eat, but it
was quiet, intimate and usually one of Lois' favorites. Today,
however, she stared at her pastrami sandwich and poked at her
french fries with her fork.

"Lois, is something bothering you?" David's voice intruded on her
thoughts and Lois looked up.

"David, there's something I haven't told you about Clark." She
fixed him with a serious gaze, but David smiled.

"Lois, I know I should let you speak first here, but I just have
some really exciting news and I wanted you to be the first to
know."

Lois stopped mid-sentence and nodded. "What is it?"

"I got the job in California. They want me to take over! It'll be
my production, Lois, executive producer. Do you have any idea how
great that will look on my resume? And the pay ... Lois, they
told me they could use several more producers down there. I
mentioned that you might be interested, and they were very
excited!"

"You what?" Lois' dumbfounded look took David by surprise and he
reached across the table, taking both of her hands in his.

"Lois, I didn't sign your name on any dotted lines, but think of
the potential. We could -- we could move there together. I have a
great little place lined up already, and Lois ... " David
suddenly reached into his pocket and extracted a small, velvet
box.

"Will you marry me?"

Lois stared in shock across the table. "David," she whispered,
glancing at the beautiful engagement ring. She afforded her own
bare finger a glance and sighed, remembering a time when Clark's
ring had been there and she had been the happiest woman in the
world. That was a long time ago.

"David, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." She placed
her hand on top of the ring box and looked up. "You know that my
husband and I are legally separated."

David nodded, smiling. "Yes, I know that you haven't signed the
divorce papers yet, but that doesn't matter to me, Lois. We can
still be together while you are pushing that through. I know how
determined you can be when you want something. We can get that
cleared up quickly. I promise I'll make you happy. I love you."

Lois swallowed. Engagement? David was right; she and Clark hadn't
signed the divorce papers. Actually, Clark probably didn't even
know that there even were divorce papers. She'd had them drawn up
almost six months ago, and then put them away the very same
night, unable to sign even her own portions. She'd cried a lot
that night.

David continued. "Lois, when I first moved to Metropolis a year
ago, I never dreamed that I'd be meeting the woman I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with. I was a small-time producer with
huge dreams ... and there you were. It was the most incredible
thing. So much has happened since then, in *both* our lives. The
past doesn't matter to me -- "

"I-I never told you what his name was." Lois cut him off quickly.
David looked perplexed.

"His name? It never came up. I don't need to know, Lois." He took
her hands in his and squeezed them gently. She frowned.

"Yes, yes, it does matter. Especially now."

"Lois, I love you. That's all that matters. Say that you'll marry
me." David's voice was the epitome of sincere and it made Lois'
heart reach out to him. He'd tried to be there for her, but
ultimately, there was only one man she could ever truly be with
and be happy.

"Clark Kent." She froze after she'd said the words and watched
his face. He stared back for a moment.

"The man ... the man I met in your office today? Your new
partner, he's-"

"My husband," Lois finished for him.

"Ex-husband," David corrected.

"Well, the papers -- not quite," Lois whispered quietly.

"So that's why--" David trailed off and Lois looked up at him.

"Why what?" she asked.

"You were looking at him when I came into your office; you were
looking at him the way I've always wished you'd look at me." He
gazed across the table at her and she lowered her eyes but said
nothing. Finally David broke the silence.

"Lois, I *love* you. Will you come with me to Los Angeles? No
conditions, no looking back, please?"

Lois looked up at him and met his pleading gaze levelly. "I-I
care for you, David. I think that maybe, in time, I might have
even- "

"So, you won't." He spoke softly, cutting her off. "Because he's
back."

"I can't." She admitted. "And it's more complicated than that,
David."

"I see." He closed the velvet box in his hand slowly. There was
silence between them for a time. "I have to go on this trip." He
sighed.

"I know. David, I'm sorry." She tipped her head and patted his
hand on the table. "I wish things could have been different ...
"

"Do you love him? Are you still in love with him? Lois, just tell
me that, please." He swallowed and Lois looked up, beyond him for
a moment before meeting his gaze once more.

"Oh, David. It's so hard for me to explain this. And I don't want
to hurt you." She smiled ruefully and David whispered.

"So, just say it. I'll be okay."

"It's -- it's like he's a part of me. He's part of my soul, and
no matter how I feel about him ... or you, or anyone else, it's
always going to be that way. I don't even understand it myself.
Sometimes, I-"

"I understand." David stopped her with his voice and the touch of
his hand on hers. "I think I know what that might feel like."
Lois nodded and swallowed back the tears she knew were already
shimmering in her eyes.

"I hate him for hurting you," David said finally. "I'm sorry that
I had to say that, but I do. And at the same time, after meeting
him, it's hard for me to hate him at all." David shook his head
in confusion, and Lois laughed through her tears.

"Oooooh, David, you have *no* idea!" She smiled and then took his
hand in hers. There was silence for a time. "When are you
leaving?"

"Well," David began, letting out a long breath. "Circumstances
being what they are, probably tonight." She nodded.

"I'll miss you." Lois swallowed and David let out a the low first
note of a laugh that wasn't quite.

"You know what they say about that one great love that changes
us, Lois." David stood from his seat and moved around to her side
of the table, kissing her tenderly before hooking his jacket in
his fingers and slinging it over his shoulder. Lois looked up at
him in surprise.

"No, what do they say?" She questioned, but David shook his
head.

"It also finds us wherever we are," he finished.

"Goodbye, David." She smiled at him and every trace of teardrops
seemed to vanish from her face. "I know you'll be successful at
whatever you do."

"Tell Kent I said he better take good care of you!" David called
out to her as he turned to walk proudly out of the restaurant. He
hailed a cab and Lois watched him get inside as the door to Max's
finally swung shut.

"I don't think so, David," she whispered. "Not this time." Lois
drank the last of her water and then dropped a bill onto the
table, gathering her purse into her arms and hurrying through
outside through the same door.

***

Clark leaned against the wall of his office and shut his eyes.
**Lois** His mind called out to something he knew he couldn't
reach right now. She wasn't here, and even if she was ... he'd
broken her heart. He could never reconcile that, and he doubted
she would ever be able to either.

And then there was David. What was working with Lois going to be
like with David in the picture? Would he be able to keep his
feelings hidden from her all over again? To keep from touching
her when he ached to? It was going to be more difficult than he
had ever imagined and Clark found himself insanely wondering if
he'd done the right thing in letting Marie go. He shook his head
violently to clear it. NO. Even if Lois was involved with someone
else, even if she never came back to him, he knew that his being
with Marie could never work. He was, and always would be,
completely in love with Lois, and no other woman could ever take
her place in his heart. Not in any lifetime.

If it made Lois happy, then he could go back to being simply
friends. He'd learned in Paris, all those miles away from her in
quiet agony, that no matter what the price, Lois' wellbeing and
happiness were far more important than his own. It would hurt a
lot at first, but he would do it for her. The absolute certainty
of that fact struck him so completely that he felt his body hold
back a sob of despair. He needed her so desperately and now he'd
lost her forever.

***

Lois walked quickly down the hallway toward her office, purse in
hand. She stopped several paces from Clark's open office doorway.
She watched him leaning up against the wall. She watched him run
his hands through his hair and shut his eyes. She watched him as
he sank slowly down to the ground until he sat, oblivious to
anyone and anything except for his own tortured thoughts.
Turning, she hurried toward her own office door, and ducked
inside, shutting it quickly behind her.

She spent the rest of the day attempting to finish up the stacks
of new and impending paperwork which both she and Clark had been
handed. It was a near impossible task. Thoughts of David flooded
her mind alongside images of Clark sinking to the floor against
the wall of his office.

She doubted anyone else had seen him. The building was enormous
and there was only a skeleton staff on their level. Just the
executives and their assistants. Of course, Clark had yet to find
himself an assistant. That was so like Clark, to leave something
like that until last. But it did afford him a large degree of
privacy in his office.

Lois shut her eyes against the heart-wrenching image of Clark in
his office once again. This was impossible. *Concentrating* was
impossible. David had asked her to marry him! And she refused.
She refused? Of course, she refused. She was still in love with
Clark. She would always love him. Big, dumb, stubborn ox that he
was. He was also the nicest, kindest, most wonderful man in the
world. He was just ... Clark. Lois broke the end of her pencil
off against her desk and cursed under her breath.

All this paperwork. If it weren't for her overactive imagination,
Lois knew that she had probably never been more bored in her
entire life. Luckily, she thought, this would be a pretty rare
thing. Perry had promised that he would delegate extra assistants
to handle the bulk of the paper- load so Lois could concentrate
on being something more akin to a reporter again. Management made
money, Lois had to admit, but more than a few times she caught
herself longing for the old days, when all she had to worry about
was the next story or the validity of a source.

She picked up a new pencil and chewed on the end of it for a
moment in thought. The quiet chime of an elegant clock on her
wall sounded off seven times and Lois looked up. Where had the
time gone? She sighed and dropped her pencil, noticing the
red-orange hue of the paper on her desk for the first time. The
sunset. She spun her chair around and was accosted full force
with the most beautiful sunset she'd seen in years. From her
vantage point, high up in PNN's main building, she watched the
shimmering fireball descend into the water-filled horizon,
reflecting off the polished surfaces of the building all around
her. It was stunning.

There was a soft knock at her door. "Come in," Lois called back,
absently. Clark took two steps inside the office and closed the
door softly behind him.

"Hi, Clark." Her voice was soft from her chair, but she hadn't
turned to face him, or even verified that it was really him.
Clark swallowed his perplexed expression and moved to stand
behind Lois' large chair.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it?" He placed his hands on the
back of the chair and Lois nodded, still not looking back.

"Yes -- it -- is," Lois punctuated softly, tipping her head up so
that she could see him, finally. Clark resisted the urge to bend
down and take her lips in a soft kiss, the way he used to, the
way he still wanted to. She smiled suddenly, obviously reading
something in his expression.

"No, Kent, that would definitely *not* be a good idea."

"I'm sorry?" Clark feigned innocence and Lois smiled
enigmatically.

"I've seen that look in your eyes before. I know it very, very,
*very* well." She shook her head and Clark had the decency to
look embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "Did you finish your paperwork?"

"Yeah." Lois looked almost triumphant. "Just did. You?" She
glanced up at him. "I mean now that you can't just ~-> ... " She
waved her hands in front of her and smiled.

"Yes, I did." Clark couldn't resist smiling back. "I think we're
the last people alive here tonight, except for post-production
downstairs."

Lois nodded thoughtfully, then turned her attention back to the
sunset. Clark followed her gaze.

"You drive here today?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Cab." Lois tapped her pencil between her fingers. "They're
renovating my parking space."

Clark grinned. "Well, I drove, so if you'd like a ride-"

Lois spun around in her chair so suddenly that she found herself
face to face with Clark's lower abdomen. Her nose brushed against
him and she backed up self-consciously. "YOU have a car?"

Clark laughed. "Yeah, I have a car. This is newsworthy?"

Lois chuckled and stood up until she was face to face with him.
Clark noted that there were only inches separating their faces
but Lois was bold and defiant as always. "I think so! Clark, when
did you get a car?" she began, taping his shoulder accusingly,
"You used to tell me you would *never* ... wait a minute, I have
a better question. What kind of car is it?" Lois looked
positively playful and Clark couldn't help but grin in response.

"I don't see what that has to do with whether or not you'd like a
ride home, Ms. Lane."

"Ohh, it has *everything* to do with it, Kent." She reached into
a drawer and grabbed her purse. "What kind is it?"

Clark watched her, an amused grin spreading across his face.
"Well, if I'm driving you home, I guess you'll find out."

Lois laughed out loud. "You're a sneaky one, Clark. Okay. My coat
is on the rack behind the door." Clark moved to the other side of
the office and picked up the small car coat which hung there. He
held it open for her and she slipped inside.

"Thanks." She turned, smiling, and Clark could have lost himself
in her eyes. He reached up slowly and Lois held her breath.

**He's going to touch me** She waited ... the moments seemed like
forever until Clark's hand brushed against the hair near her ear.
She shivered involuntarily. Clark shifted his hand and slipped a
forgotten pencil out from behind one ear. Lois swallowed, unable
to believe that something so small could be so ...

"You always forget." He curled her hair around her ear the way
she liked it, smoothing the temporary mess he'd made and smiled
in satisfaction when he'd completed the task. "There. Perfect."

Lois swallowed and Clark held an arm out toward her. "Shall we?"
She nodded, a silly expression crossing her face as she linked
her arm with his. As they made their way through the doorway to
her office, Lois said something that Clark would never have
believed she would. Leaning into him very slightly, she bumped
him with her hip.

"I missed my best friend."

It was very softly spoken, but the force of feeling that hit
Clark at her admittance almost knocked him off of his feet. He
had no words. It took every ounce of his willpower to keep him
from falling to his knees and begging her for forgiveness right
there and then. His mind reeled until ...

"So, where is this car of yours?" Lois interrupted his thoughts
playfully.

Clark swallowed, realizing how close he'd come to giving
everything over to her. He knew in that moment that there was no
turning back -- ever again.

***

Lois surveyed the parking lot trying to second guess the type of
vehicle she might find. "Clark, come on, which one is it?"

"Why is it so important?" Clark chuckled.

"Well- I mean, a car says a lot about a person, I think." Lois
tipped her head in concentration.

"Well," Clark began. "You know a lot about me ... guess." He
smiled and Lois slapped his arm playfully.

"All right." She furrowed her brow, suddenly looking up. "It
better not be a mini-van."

Clark laughed. "Why not? What's wrong with mini- vans?"

Lois shrugged. "Well nothing, really, it's just ... I don't see
you as the mini-van type. Besides, they're boring."

Clark had to stop himself from laughing. God, it had been so long
since he'd laughed this way with anyone! "It's not a mini-van,
Lois."

"Good." She smiled.

"In fact ... " They rounded the corner of the parking lot and
Lois gasped.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. That's it." He watched Lois as she disengaged from his arm
and moved to examine the small red Lotus. She placed her hands on
its edge and ran her fingers along the roof in a way that made
Clark wish she had done the same thing to him.

"What -- did they pay you in gold bars over there in France?" She
looked up at him and Clark stoically shook his head.

"No, I mortgaged my underwear for that thing," Clark admitted.

Lois giggled, moving back toward him. "So," she tapped his chest,
"there *is* an earthling male in there somewhere, huh?"

Clark looked down at her and caught her hand in his. She looked
up at him and for a moment they just stared into each other's
eyes.

"Whoa." Lois spoke first, pulling gently away from him.

"What?" Clark whispered.

"I'm thinking things that are *not* good for my resolve." She
smiled slightly. Clark let out a breath and nodded.

He moved around to the passenger side of the door and held it
open for Lois, who smiled in thanks and sat down inside. "Well,
one good thing about taking this job ... " she started. Clark
raised an eyebrow as he waited and Lois shot him a smug grin.
"You can get your underwear back."

Clark shut the door and spun around to make his way over to his
side, hiding his silly grin from Lois. Was it time he needed? He
had been such a fool ... a selfish, mindless fool to shut her out
those years ago. But would he have been able to let her in if it
were happening right now? Did knowing how wrong he'd been really
change things, or would it still be just as hard? Clark sighed.
Whatever happened, he was here again, whether he liked it or not.
And Clark was beginning to discover, very quickly, that he liked
it a lot.

Sitting beside Lois, Clark maneuvered the car out onto the road.
"Where to?" He asked casually, though he was burning with
curiosity.

"Raynard and McGavin."

Lois watched his reaction, but Clark merely whistled.

"Nice area," he admitted and Lois nodded silently. They traveled
that way for a while, in silence. Lois watched the scenery float
slowly by and Clark turned every so often to glance in her
direction without speaking. She knew he was looking at her; she
didn't have to see him.

"So, how's Marie?" Lois broke the silence.

"She's fine ... I assume." Clark swallowed.

"You assume?" Lois turned in her seat to regard him for a
moment.

"She left."

"I'm not following you." Lois' voice was almost perfectly calm,
but Clark could hear the subtle edge to it.

"She went back to Paris." Clark cleared his throat.

"When is she coming back?" Lois asked and then immediately
regretted the indiscretion.

"She's not." Clark stopped at a red light and turned toward Lois.
"Lois-" Clark began.

"You're going to miss the turnoff. Here," Lois interjected
quickly as the light changed to green.

Clark turned obligingly onto McGavin. Lois pretended to stare out
of the window, but she clutched the trembling fingers of one hand
discreetly around a door handle next to her. Clark said nothing.

That had been very close. Lois glanced at Clark out of the corner
of her eye. He was probably going to say something he'd regret
just then. Something they both might. Lois had to admit that
curiosity burned inside of her almost as brightly as the passion
she felt for him. But emotional mountains were never her strong
suit. She took a deep breath and continued to not watch the
scenery go by outside the car window.

The lights from the city were beginning to come on and the sun
had all but left the horizon when they pulled into the apartment
complex's parking facilities. Lois handed Clark her key card ID
to slip into the slot.

Clark navigated through the darkened parking area and pulled into
a spot of Lois' choosing. Looking over three car lengths, he
spotted the familiar silver Jeep parked nearby. He shut off the
engine. Neither he nor Lois moved.

"Clark." "Lois."

They both spoke at the same time, turning toward one another.

"I really enjoyed meeting David today; he seems like a great
guy." Clark hurried on first, needing to let Lois know that he
wasn't trying to take anything from her that she wasn't willing
to give. Lois let out a breath and looked down at her lap.

"Yeah, he is." She smiled a crooked smile. "David went to
California tonight, Clark."

"California?" Clark's question was almost lost in the
semi-darkness of the car's interior.

"Yeah. He- asked me to marry him."

Clark swallowed. "I see."

It was all he could manage. His heart felt as though it were
twisting in half. **Oh, God, this must have been what she felt
when I left her, when I never came back.** He shifted in his
seat.

"Lois, no matter what you choose to do in your life, I want you
to know that I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. It
was so selfish for me to leave you and I just didn't even see
that then."

Clark turned so that he fully faced her, resolute to finish his
confession. "I thought ... you know, in my usual bonebrained way
... that I was doing what was best for you, or anyone else I
cared about. I made that decision all by myself and I've never
come to regret anything more in my entire existence. It was my
own foolish pride and fear that forced me to hurt the person I
loved most in the world."

Lois swallowed hard but held his gaze, unable or unwilling to
look away. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and he held them
back valiantly. Lois wanted so much to reach out and touch him,
to brush the tears away. But she couldn't. Instead she folded her
hands in her lap and nodded.

Clark continued. "If -- if I could undo that hurt, if I could
take the pain away and make it gone, I would give my life for
that. I think it's wonderful that you've gone on with your life
and found someone else. I want you to be happy. I'm so sorry,
Lois; I'm so very sorry, and I know you'll never be able to
forgive me, but I wanted you to know -- no matter where you go,
or what you do ... I just needed you to know that ... " He
trailed off quietly, looking down at his lap as the first of his
resolve broke and the tears came.

Lois finished listening to Clark's admission and watched him hang
his head. She knew that he was crying. Tears she had begged him
to shed two years ago in memory of his parents, in admission of
his need for her. She'd pleaded with him to let her in and he
wouldn't. He couldn't let her comfort him and he'd never cried
once. She felt her immediate empathetic response to his deep hurt
and knew that she too was crying.

"I was such an idiot," he finished in a whisper.

"Yes, you were!" Lois whispered back, reaching out to brush away
the tears which fell slowly down his cheeks. "You're an idiot who
went through hell all by himself because of it."

"Lois, I'm so sorry," Clark repeated fervently, and Lois
swallowed while she shook her head.

"I had to watch you, Clark. I had to watch you slowly disappear
until finally one day you were truly gone. I had to watch you!"
She repeated the phrase once again. Her words were fierce, but
her hands traced a slow path over his face until she cupped his
larger features in her small hands.

"Oh, God," Clark tipped his head down in Lois' hands and Lois
reached up to remove his glasses. She set them down on the
dashboard and Clark fell forward like a little boy. Lois, taken
aback for only a moment, realized almost immediately what had
happened. She wrapped her arms around him as best she could,
feeling the force of his emotion shake his larger frame and
listening to him grieve for the first time in two years. He clung
to her as she rocked with him, and he sucked in each breath on a
sob.

"I let them die ... I let them die ... " he whispered over and
over again, clinging to her and shaking. "My mama is dead because
I couldn't save them in time. I couldn't get to them. Lois!" He
nearly wailed. "Lois, what have I done?"

"Oh, Clark." Lois ran her fingers softly through his hair. "You
couldn't have saved them. Not even Superman can be everywhere. It
wasn't your fault ... "

Here he was. Crying in her arms the way he should have two years
ago. The way he couldn't then. But he was here now, and so was
she. She vowed that if she never took another breath, she *would*
help him through this. What had been, paled in significance to
what was in this moment. He needed her and she would be there for
him no matter what. She knew that her words must have sounded
hollow to him, but they were all that she could say. There was
nothing anyone could say or do that would magically make two
years of suffering and anguish vanish from either of their lives.
Most especially Clark's, for he had had to live not only alone,
but with the knowledge that he had been responsible for the
deaths of two of the people he loved most in the world. No, not
responsible, never responsible. Yet he believed that he was, and
that was enough for Clark. The strength of his convictions had
always had to be enough to keep him sane. Now they were slowly
driving him over the edge.

"Lois, I'm so sorry." Clark rushed on. "I'm so sorry for hurting
you, and I know I can never undo that pain. I can never go back.
I wish that I could go back ... I wish that I hadn't been such an
idiot."

He ached inside, years of pain bottled up and only now exploding.
Yet, she never once let go, never once held him away from her.
Instead she pulled him closer, brushing her face against his and
kissing a wayward teardrop. He was completely vulnerable right
now and she wasn't even moving in to take the victory he knew she
deserved.

"I love you so much, Lois," he whispered finally, at first
surprised that he had let such a great deal of his control slip.
But Lois didn't turn away. She sighed.

"I forgive you -- idiot." She moved her hands over his warm,
tear-moistened skin and felt her own tears continue to fall. She
could also feel his warm breath against her skin. "I forgive
you," she whispered again and then opened her eyes to look into
his. What she saw there was a struggle that made her heart break.
She'd seen that look before. He wanted to kiss her as desperately
as she wanted to fall into his arms and feel that power again.
But he was holding back because ... David. Her commitment. He
knew that she was seeing someone else and he wouldn't get between
that. **Clark!** Lois shook her head and moved even closer to
him.

"When I said David went to California, I meant that he's not
coming back. I told him I couldn't marry him, Clark. I told him
I-"

Lois' words were cut off as Clark's mouth fastened on hers in a
kiss borne of urgency and desperation. She answered the pull of
his tongue with a loud moan of her own, driven by two years of
longing. His hands slid behind her head and pulled her gently
forward into the deepening kiss. She reached around him and ran
her hands through his hair the way she'd wanted to since the
first time she'd seen him in Metropolis again. But caution kicked
in far too quickly and Lois Lane felt her brain pull her body
away from its encounter.

"Clark," she gasped as the kiss parted, tears still trickling
down her cheeks, though whether his or hers she was no longer
sure. "I know this is pretty intense, and I'm feeling it, too,
trust me." Lois breathed out and ran one hand through her hair.
Clark swallowed and sucked in a deep breath. "There are a lot of
things I'd like to do right now," she continued and met Clark's
dark, passion-filled eyes with two of her own. "But we can't --
just do this. I don't know if we can just pick up and ... " She
trailed off softly and Clark swallowed. Lois looked down at her
lap for a time and then brought her gaze up to his once again.
She smiled shyly.

"Would you like to come inside for a drink? This place has a
wonderful lounge downstairs; it's almost as good as the
Metropolis Regency. We can talk. Do you need to talk?" She asked
him with complete sincerity and she held her breath waiting for
his response. Would he? Now that the breaking moment was over,
would he let her in?

Clark picked up one of her hands and let her fingers roll over
his. Caressing them softly, he let his gaze travel upward and met
her eyes. "I want to talk, Lois. I *need* you-"

Lois smiled and sucked in and out as tears of a different kind
began to well up in her eyes once again . "I'm always here for
you, Clark. Always." She reached out to stroke his cheek with the
back of her hand and Clark placed his thumb and his index finger
into his eyes, fighting back the tears he knew were coming. They
were tears of relief as well as regret.

***

Lois sat at a small table across from Clark. The lounge was
completely empty save for their two occupied chairs. Even the
small bar had closed up early at her request and Lois had taken
the liberty that all residents in the complex had on occasion.
She locked the door. By now, traces of her tears and Clark's were
almost nonexistent.

She heard Clark sigh. It had taken him two hours to relate the
story of his parents' death to her. Not the version the police
had filed, but the version he remembered. Where he had lain
there, helpless, as his world exploded around him. That he blamed
himself exclusively for the event was beyond any doubt, and Lois
felt his grief so keenly she thought that her heart might break
for him.

"-- I didn't want to tell you, Lois. I felt like anyone who knew
what really happened would also know that it was my fault. And
know that no one close to me was safe. So I left. I rationalized
that I was doing the right thing, but I know I was really running
away. I've spent the last two years of my life running away, and
I'm ashamed of that." Clark looked down and Lois shook her head.

"It wasn't your fault, Clark." Lois' soft voice brought his head
up.

"That's moot, Lois."

"No, it's not." Lois stared at Clark until he met her gaze.
"Clark, you have to believe that it wasn't you who caused their
deaths. Jonathan and Martha would never have wanted you to
believe that. It isn't true." She reached out and took his hands
in hers, absently caressing him with her thumb.

"Mom would probably drag me off by the ear and scold me." Clark
smiled a small smile and Lois nodded.

"That's right."

"Thing is," Clark continued, his smile turning almost immediately
into a frown, "I'd give anything to have her do that again right
now."

He looked lost and afraid. And Lois had never been more in love
with him.

"It hurts a lot to lose someone you love, Clark. And nothing can
take that pain away from you."

Clark looked at Lois and knew that she was speaking from her own
experience. His chest felt like someone had begun carving a hole
out of him.

"But allowing yourself to grieve helps. Will you let me in this
time, Clark? Let me help you." Lois held her breath waiting for
his response. When he did not answer her, her heart sank into the
pit of her chest.

Clark stood instead and made his way around to her side of the
table. He pulled her gently to her feet. Lois looked away from
him, but he brought his hand up and cupped her face, turning her
toward him.

"Would you dance with me, Lois?" Clark asked tentatively, unsure
what her response would be. Lois felt herself go weak in his
arms. She nodded slowly, wordlessly, and Clark pulled her closer,
leading them several steps away from their table as the music
from the stereo near their table began to softly play its next
song.

#Here is my hand for you to hold,

#Here's the part of me they have not sold.

"Clark?" Lois voice was tentative and unsure. "You never answered
my question." Clark gazed down at her and lost himself in her
warm, brown eyes. Yes. He'd known the answer to that question for
so long now. But the question that had always remained for him
was would *she* want to be a part of his life? After everything?
He finally knew the answer to that question as well.

"Lois, if you'll have me, I want to share everything with you.
Completely. Will you have me?" He held his breath and waited as
her eyes widened in hearing his response.

#I've wandered far;

I've had my fill.

#I need you now; do you love me still?

Lois pressed her body closer to his and felt his arms tighten
around her. His hand traced light circles in the small of her
back. She shivered and brought her arms around his neck, resting
her head against his chest.

"Yes, Clark. Yes," she whispered.

#Only you have seen the hidden part of me.

#Call me foolhearted, if you will.

#I loved you when; do you love me still?

Clark brought one hand up from her back and placed it gently
against her head, brushing against her hair and tucking it back
behind her ear. He sighed.

"That's twice in one day, Kent," Lois murmured against him. She
smiled as she felt the warm vibration of his soft laughter wash
over her. He continued to stroke her hair and Lois felt herself
slipping into the ecstasy of complete contentment. It had been so
very long ...

#So many smiles and lies surround me,

#empty expectations, faceless fears.

#Sometimes this life is a bitter pill.

#I love you now; do you love me still?

"I've never heard this song before." Lois breathed deeply against
him and Clark held her closer, if that were possible. He closed
his eyes.

"Do you love me still?" he whispered. Lois pulled her head away
from his chest. She watched him for a few moments until his eyes
opened once again.

"I'll always love you, Clark."

#You have been mine since time untold.

#All of this, immortal, don't you know.

#Others will come and they will go.

#But I loved you young, I'll love you old.

#Only you have seen the other side of me.

#Call me naive; I think you will.

#I loved you then; do you love me still?

Clark inclined his head and Lois met him halfway. The kiss was
long and sweet and filled with the promise of more. Lois tangled
her hands in his hair, and Clark sighed against her lips. He
pressed forward and she lay her forehead against his.

#Here are the eyes that only see you.

#Here is the mouth that only calls your name.

#Here is the song they cannot kill.

#I love you now; do you love me still?

The song ended as softly as it had begun and Lois and Clark
remained trapped in one another's embrace. Her hands slowly
caressed the back of Clark's head, and he held her so close to
him that neither was sure they were really two people anymore.

"I've missed you so much, Lois. I *love* you so much. I don't
think I- "

"Then don't think."

Lois pulled his lips down to hers once again and felt his mouth
devour hers with desperate urgency. She moaned softly and fell
forward against him. Their bodies pressed together, their hips
still swaying to a song that had ended several moments ago.

Soft moonlight spilled in increments through the large-paned
windows surrounding the lounge and shimmered off of Lois' hair.
Dark shadows surrounding the numerous empty chairs around them
swallowed up one shaft of light and fed it toward the surface of
the countertop. Clark spun their bodies around until his back was
to the bar and Lois was pressed against him in front. He brought
one hand upward to caress the side of her face with his
fingertips and she did the same, brushing her hand over his
jawline. Neither spoke. They stood that way for several minutes,
touching each other and staring into one another's eyes.

***

The door to Lois' darkened apartment slid open and two bodies
tumbled through its entrance. Clark used his foot to shut the
door behind them, keeping his arms firmly wrapped around Lois,
the way they had been as the couple made their way upstairs.

Lois moaned impatiently and pulled on Clark's lower lip with her
mouth, playfully, bringing him forward into another sultry,
exploratory kiss. Clark felt his knees weaken as he responded to
Lois' touch. God, how he'd missed her. Missed feeling this way.
Clark gently traced a path with his hands along the outside of
Lois' ribcage, through her blouse. Lois whimpered and fell
backward into his arms, giving him better access to her body.

"Please ... I've longed for you to touch me, Clark ... It's been
so long ... "

Clark took only a fraction of a second to study her form, arched
within his grasp, the curve of her neck and the way her
shoulder-length hair fell loosely behind her. Her eyes were
closed and she sighed as she felt his hands move higher.

He gently brushed his fingertips against the warm skin near the
base of her neck and her head fell backward and off to one side.
As his fingers reached the edge of the collar on her blouse,
Clark deftly hooked his hand around to her front and unbuttoned
the blouse in several easy movements. Lois pulled back suddenly
in surprise.

"Where did you learn that?" She was still pressed intimately
against his body, but she had tensed.

Clark used both hands to caress her arms at each side while he
pressed light kisses against her hair, her face, next to her
eyes, the tip of her nose. Lois shivered and leaned into his
touch involuntarily.

"Clark ... don't," Lois pleaded, more for the sake of her own
sanity than his.

"Lois, only you," Clark murmured against her hair, pulling on her
lower lip with his hot mouth. Lois made a small noise of pleasure
in the back of her throat, but still demurred.

"Only me? What does that mean, Clark? It's probably none of my
business, I know, but I-- "

Clark sighed. He curved his head around hers and took the shell
of her ear into his mouth gently, brushing his lips over the
sensitive skin. "I've only ever been with one woman, Lois, and
she's right here in my arms." Clark's whisper against her moist
skin caused Lois to shiver violently in his arms. She made a
strangled sound of mindless pleasure at his assault on one of her
most erogenous places. But she willed herself to concentrate. And
being Lois Lane, she won. She pulled away for a moment and
studied his eyes.

The look in his eyes was tender as he banished the remainder of
her insecurity. "I swear to you, Lois, I never could-- "

Finding the answer she'd needed, Lois suddenly pressed forward
against him, covering his face and his neck with wet, urgent
kisses. "I love you, Clark. I love you. I love you. I love-- "
She brushed her lips against his neck, barely touching his skin
and felt him shudder in response. "I never did either, Clark. I
couldn't-- " She pressed another kiss to his collarbone and felt
his arms wrap around her.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Lane?" Clark's low voice
rumbled against Lois' chest and she shivered.

"I hope so ... " Lois' voice was hardly more than a sigh in the
darkness. " ... 'cause I've already been hopelessly seduced." Her
warm breath against his skin sent Clark almost to the edge of
sanity.

"Make love to me, Clark," she whispered, drawing herself further
into his embrace and pulling at each of the buttons in the front
of his shirt.. She ran her fingers lovingly over him and heard
Clark's soft moan of approval.

"Slowly," Lois murmured against him. "I don't want this to end."
She clung to his shoulders and Clark felt the sorrow of knowing
that he had caused her to mistrust his staying power.

"I love you, Lois," he whispered against her hair. She slipped
backward into his strong arms and allowed her body to go limp in
his grasp. Clark moved over top of her to find her lips. He
caught them in his own and she convulsed toward him, pressing her
mouth into his. Her hands moved feverishly inside of his open
shirt and over his back.

"Don't let me go, Clark. Don't stop," she gasped, as he began
walking farther into the extravagant apartment. Noticing the
lights of the city beyond, Clark made his way across the room to
the window which covered almost an entire wall of the dark
apartment. He pressed Lois' body up against the glass ...


Clark lay forward on top of her, his hands resting next to her
head. They were still locked together when he pulled slowly from
her, and Lois shivered. She clung to his body and Clark rolled
onto his side, bringing her forward so that they were pressed
together, face to face. He caressed her arms and kissed her
face.

"I love you, Lois," he murmured against her warm skin. She took a
deep breath and pressed her lips to his collar bone.

"I love you, Clark," she breathed, running her hands over his
sides and down his back. "I love you," she whispered again, more
quietly this time.

There was silence for several moments before Lois broke it. "God,
I don't know if I could live through that again," she teased,
breathlessly.

Instead of laughing the way she was sure he would, Clark moved up
her body and kissed her tenderly, drawing his lips over hers and
pulling gently. Lois answered his pull with one of her own,
sighing into his mouth.

He began kissing her over and over again, the way that he knew
she loved. She gave in completely and moaned as he sought gentle
entrance into her mouth, then pulled out again just as sweetly.
Lois hadn't felt so loved, so absolutely content, in what seemed
like forever. And Clark was taking his time, kissing her slowly,
repeatedly, pulling his hands through her hair. He pressed a
light kiss against her face, and her eyes opened as she felt the
warm wetness of his tears on her skin.

"Clark, what's wrong?" Lois asked tenderly.

Clark opened his tear-filled eyes and gazed into hers. "I love
you so much, Lois. I'm so sorry."

Lois raised herself up on an elbow. "I already forgave you,
farmboy!" She kissed him sensuously and then added, "Though after
*that*, I'd forgive you for anything else you might have thought
of as well."

Clark buried his face in her hair and sighed. She ran her fingers
through his own fine dark locks, but she knew something was still
not right.

"What is it?" Lois whispered. Clark raised his head.

"I guess-- I can't forgive myself," he admitted softly. Lois
wound her bare leg around one of his and let her fingers follow
his hair down onto his back, then traced the length of his
spine.

"Oh, my Clark," she whispered softly, brushing another soft kiss
against his lips. "We've still got a lot to work out. I know
that. But I also know that I *love* you, and that you love me,
and whatever else we have to say to one another, nothing is as
important as that." She kissed his shoulder and Clark reached up
to cup her face in his hand, running his thumb over the edge of
her chin. She tipped her head to one side, in that endearing way
she had, and Clark smiled through his tears.

"I swear to you, I'll never leave you again." The absolute
conviction in his voice almost made Lois gasp, but she knew also
in that instant that he was being completely honest with her. She
felt herself nearing joyful tears once again and fought the urge
to cry. He needed her to be strong right now.

"You better not," she teased, falling forward against him and
capturing his lips with hers for a long, slow kiss.

"There's still the matter of Superman," Lois added, after they
came up for air.

Clark sighed and shook his head, getting emotional again. "No,
Superman is gone," he said adamantly. After a pause, he smiled
sadly, his voice softer. "I- I don't know if he can ever come
back, Lois. I don't know if I can ever ... I need time, Lois ...
there's still so much inside of me. So much that I'm still afraid
of. So much that I need to work through. That I need to prove to
you ... and to myself."

"I know you do, Clark. And as long as we're together, we can work
through anything. Even Truth, Justice, and the American way." She
grinned playfully at him and Clark pressed her back into the soft
carpet beneath them.

"Truth ... " Clark kissed her neck, and slid his open mouth along
her collar bone. " ... and Justice ... " He slipped his arms
around her and cupped the back of her head in both hands, leaning
forward to kiss her fully on the lips. " ... can wait until
tomorrow," he finished. Lois moaned softly as he began yet
another exploration of her body.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, half teasingly. But Clark would
have none of it. He gazed down into her face, then moved lower to
rain light kisses against the drowsy lid of her eye.

"My love," he whispered against her skin as he made his way
across her face to the other eye. He kissed it, too.

"My soul mate." He heard her sigh and then placed his lips a
breath away from hers.

"My life. I need you desperately," Clark breathed over her lips.

She made a small sound in the back of her throat, even as a shiny
teardrop flashed in the moonlight against her cheek.

"Then take what you need, my Superman. I'd give you anything,"
she whispered back.

Clark pressed his mouth to hers, pulling her forward into his
arms. He drew from her strength; they drew from each other.

***

Epilogue: THE NEXT EVENING

Clark stepped quickly along the office corridor with a photo in
hand. Getting back into 'reporter-mode' had been a godsend after
yesterday's stacks of paperwork, and he smiled to himself as he
checked his watch. 7:30 p.m. The only downside to the event was
that he hadn't truly been able to see Lois today. Not the way
he'd wanted to at least, not being able to hold her and touch her
the way he ached to even more keenly since they'd made love last
night. He shut his eyes and smiled. Focus had been another real
problem today.

Lois had probably already left for home. They'd both been working
on gathering the necessary team to take over Planet News
Network's investigative line staff, a group which was to be
unlike any other major news corporation's -- tighter knit and
more organized, for one thing. Lois had some fantastic ideas for
the unit, and he was getting more and more excited at the
prospect of running it with her.

She really was brilliant, Clark mused, then tapped himself on the
head with his photo for zoning out again. Their morning meeting
had been the only time they'd seen each other during the day
today, and Clark had been able to focus on little else,
especially during moments like this when not much 'else' was
really going on anyway.

Last night had been ... incredible. Exhaustive, but incredible.
They'd stayed up well into the early hours of the morning,
talking mostly ... well ... and kissing ... touching, holding
each other. In the beginning, they'd been like starved animals,
but later ... later, when the fire of immediate passion had
cooled to a warm, glowing ember between them, there had been a
beautiful sense of belonging as Lois wrapped her arms around him
and dropped her head to his chest, sighing. Clark had been unable
to get enough of her. The way she felt, the lingering smell of
perfume on warm skin. The way *he* felt knowing that she was
there with him, and he with her. She was like the first taste of
a wildly visceral narcotic after months of withdrawal. But this
was one addiction Clark never planned on giving up again.

The anger, the fool in him twisted his gut in remembrance of what
had yet been left unsaid, and he swallowed the growing lump in
his throat. They still had a lot to talk about. And Clark was
determined that, though it might take the rest of his life, he
would make it up to her somehow. He shook his head.

But thoughts of Lois no longer saddened him the way they had only
a few days ago. Now, no matter what seemed 'in the way', thinking
of her only served to put a silly smile on his face and a warm
feeling in his chest.

Clark turned the corner of the hallway on the way to his office
and stopped in surprise, nearly bumping into a member of the
evening cleaning crew as he made his rounds through this almost
deserted floor of the building.

The door to Lois' office stood open, and a faint orange glow
filtered through the window behind her desk. But what had stopped
Clark in his tracks was the woman behind the desk. Her head was
down, her pencil tapping against the edge of her paper as she
read the document it contained. Lois' hair spilled forward over
her face as she bent her head still lower in concentration. She
looked so much like the way she had when Clark had first met her,
a feeling of deja vu swept over him as he watched her from afar.
He found himself walking past his own office without thinking,
instead padding softly down the corridor until he stood silently
in her doorway.

She didn't see him at first. He listened to her sigh as she read
something that was obviously incorrect to her sensibilities and
watched her circle it with her pencil, making a note. It was the
strangest thing, and yet ... not so strange at all ... but
standing there, seeing her as if for the first time, Clark
couldn't believe the depth of his emotion for her. It was as if,
after all this time, after all of the holding back and
withdrawing he had done, last night had flung the floodgates wide
open and here was a man consumed by the force of his feelings. It
hurt and it felt really incredible at the same time.

Lois suddenly looked up at him, as if she had sensed the pounding
of his heart or the exploding firewall of emotion he'd
experienced. Her eyes shone when she saw him, and a shy smile
crept to her lips.

"Hey, I didn't see you." She spoke softly and Clark knew that he
was looking at her through a mixture of longing and love. This
time, he didn't even try to hide it from her. She looked down at
her paper, the smile growing on her face and she laughed.

"You always know," he mused, sighing.

Lois nodded and looked up at him again, her eyes sparkling.
"Well, I know *you* if that's what you mean." She stood up
slowly, moving around her desk. "I know the way you look ... "
She tipped her head to one side coyly. "I know what your looks
*mean*." She emphasized the last word as she came to stand face
to face with him.

Lois lifted her hand up to press it against Clark's chest, but he
caught it before it reached its destination and he held it,
caressing her fingertips with the pad of his thumb before
bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it softly. He held it
against himself but she spoke first.

"I didn't know you'd still be here," she whispered, allowing him
to play absently with her fingers, twining them with his own.

"Neither did I," he whispered back, then noticed that Lois tipped
her head in confusion. "I mean-- I didn't know you'd still be
here either." He smiled at her and she nodded.

"Well, how could I miss a sunset this beautiful?" She smiled
softly, though she hadn't turned to look out the orange-tinted
window behind her.

"I don't know," Clark responded, taking their joined hands and
pulling them over her hips, down the side of her body. She leaned
forward.

Clark continued. "They say that if you miss the sunset often
enough, you forget what it's like to feel its beauty in time."

Lois met his gaze. "Do you think that's true?" Her voice was
soft, her eyes serious.

Clark let out a breath. "No, I think it's absolutely untrue.
Impossible."

She fell the rest of the way forward into his arms. Their lips
met and Clark drew her closer, pressing one hand against her back
while keeping hold of her fingers with the other.

He shifted his head and whispered against her ear. "Dance with
me, Lois."

She shivered and pulled in closer to his body.

"Yes," she whispered, then giggled as Clark spun her away from
the door dramatically before stopping their bodies in the middle
of her office. He nuzzled his face against the side of hers.

"Lois," Clark breathed against her hair. She leaned in closer
still to him as their bodies swayed together to some distant song
which only they could hear. "I want to spend the rest of my life
dancing with you like this."

Lois tensed a little in his grasp and Clark pulled his arm from
her back to stroke her hair gently. "Lois?"

Lois swallowed and gazed at the sunset behind them as she let
Clark's arms envelope her with warmth. She knew what he was
asking, and she knew that she had to tell him as well.

"You left me, Clark." Her voice was soft, and she felt Clark
instinctively tightening his arms around her. "I wanted to
forget. I forgave you, with all my heart, and I wanted to forget,
but I can't." She pressed her head against him and Clark stopped
the motion of their bodies just long enough to change the rhythm
so that he now rocked with her almost imperceptibly.

"I know," he whispered. "And there is no excuse, nothing I can
say that could ever atone for what I've done." He paused and felt
Lois' body twitch in his grasp. She wept softly, her tears
wetting the front of his shirt, but Clark held her fiercely.

"You are my life, Lois," he uttered fervently. "You were my life
from the moment I saw you. And ... after my parents died, I
didn't feel like I deserved to live. I didn't know how to
reconcile my guilt. I did some unforgivable things. I let myself
forget that, in this life, though we may have two bodies, we
share our souls."

Lois wound her arms around him and sighed sadly.

Clark continued. "I don't know ... I thank God every time I
remember your breath against my face when you told me you'd not
given up on us. I still can't even imagine-- "

"I *love* you!" Lois' strong voice filled the office and she
pulled from his embrace so they could look at each other. "You're
a part of me, Clark, and I did what I did for selfish reasons as
well. I can't imagine living a life without you in it. And I know
... "

Clark stood before her, watching this strong, determined,
spirited woman lay her convictions out before him, and he kept
the physical distance she had created for them out of a deep
respect borne from years of knowing an equal.

"I know ... " she continued, now bridging the distance between
them on her own and taking his face into her hands, " ... that no
matter what's happened, and no matter how large the mistake ...
inside here," she tapped his chest with her hand softly and then
brought it back up to cradle his features, "is a *good* man. The
best man I've ever known. The only man I've ever truly loved."

"You hurt me, Clark," she announced, and Clark nodded wordlessly,
transfixed by her. Knowing only that she had spoken the absolute
truth and that he had no right to take that from her. "But I also
know that if I let you go, I'd be making an even bigger mistake.
And it would hurt a whole lot more." She ran her fingers over his
jawline and Clark shut his eyes.

"I love you so much, Lois Lane," Clark whispered, opening his
eyes and staring deeply into hers.

"Kent," she whispered back at him, smiling. "Lois Lane Kent."
Clark reached forward and brought her slowly into his embrace.
She happily complied, folding herself into his arms until he
completely enveloped her.

"I am the luckiest man in the universe," he spoke up toward the
ceiling and Lois let out a low laugh.

"Yeah, I think so." She felt his arms tighten around her at the
words and she smiled against his lips when he began to kiss her
tenderly. As the kiss slowly parted, Lois breathed against
Clark's skin. "Clark, your kisses have been so incredible ever
since you came back from Europe ..."

"Lois." Clark looked seriously into her eyes. "I promise you -- I
mean I hope you don't mean that you think-- "

"I think," Lois began, fastening her lips to his once again and
dragging him forward until their bodies tumbled to the floor of
her office. She shut the door with the side of her foot, and
Clark brought one arm up to tangle his fingers in her hair as the
kiss continued. "That we're doing way too much thinking," Lois
finished breathlessly.

The fiery red sun spilled liquid gold over the surface of Lois'
desk as Clark slipped his hands around her and kissed her
hungrily.

***

Perry White frowned at the stack of paper on his desk and glanced
at the clock. It was late, but not late enough yet. He looked up
suddenly when he heard laughter echo in the hallway. *Lois.* Now
what in the Sam Hill was that girl doing at the office at this
ungodly hour? And who was she talking to? Perry strained to hear
the other voice but failed, assuming that the person was either
speaking very quietly on purpose, or Lois was just out there
talking (and laughing) to herself. Certainly a possibility ...
this *was* Lois, after all, but, still ...

He rose from his seat and made his way toward the door of his
office ...

***

Lois walked two paces in front of Clark and he grabbed her hands
from behind, pulling her hard against him. She gasped in feigned
surprise and turned in his arms to face him.

"We're never gonna get outta here," she murmured against his face
before pulling on his lip with her mouth.

"Who cares," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her. She
grinned at him and he bent down to kiss her again.

"You're insatiable!" she added breathlessly as the kiss
disengaged.

"I'm in love," Clark corrected and proceeded to brush his lips
over her neck. She groaned and leaned forward into his touch.

"Mmmm, me too." Lois rolled around in his embrace and pressed her
back against his front, holding his hands in hers. She leaned
into him and Clark moved his face over her hair. He parted it
from behind and kissed the back of her neck. Lois rolled her
eyes.

"Remind me to scold you more often," she whispered and Clark
smiled.

"Remind me to let go of your body later; I don't think I'll
remember." He nipped at the shell of her ear and she gasped.

"What if I don't want you to let go?"

"Then I won't," Clark affirmed, pulling her back more snugly
against him and giving her other ear the same treatment.

In the background, someone cleared his throat and both Lois and
Clark froze. Lois' mouth hung open for a moment and then she bit
her lower lip as a small smile spread over her face.

"Busted," she whispered playfully so that only Clark could hear
her. She felt the answering nudge of his hips as they thrust once
against her behind in reply.

Knowing that whomever it was had already seen at least this much
of their intimate rapport, Clark kept his hold on Lois' hands,
leaving their fingers twined together. He turned their bodies
around to face the intruder. Well, it was a free hall, wasn't
it?

Perry stood with his hands on his hips, a practiced (and
decidedly bad) imitation of a serious frown on his face. He took
one look at their faces and lost the entire act, bursting into
laughter.

"I see you two have, ahh ... talked." He spoke through a grin and
Lois felt the right side of her mouth curl up just a little bit
higher in response. She tipped her head back until the top of it
was pressed against Clark's chest and she could almost see his
face clearly above hers.

"Talked? Did we talk?" Lois asked him innocently.

Clark leaned forward, unable to resist her this time, kissing her
parted lips very gently. She smiled against him, almost giggling,
and returned her head to a more comfortable position.

"Perry, how come you're here so late?" Lois asked.

Perry huffed. "I could ask the same of you, Lois," he began, then
hurried to continue at the sight of her arched eyebrow. " ... But
*unlike* yourselves, I was working." Perry smiled. "Well, and
Alice said she has some kind of a surprise planned and I'm not
allowed to come home before 9:30."

He shrugged and Lois grinned.

"You see, Clark? Two more soul mates who found one another." She
sighed and snuggled deeper into his receptive embrace. Clark
returned the favor and exchanged a knowing look with Perry, who
shook his head, smiling himself.

"You know, you two kids are ... well, I'm happier than a preacher
in a month of Sundays that you two finally knocked some sense
into each other. I'll say this; I've never known two people more
in love. I mean if Alice hadn't suggested that we call up Marie
on--" Perry went on, oblivious to both his mistake and the fact
that Lois and Clark were each staring wide-eyed at him now. He
stopped suddenly as realization set in.

"Oh, ah, damn this old mouth of mine. The older I get, the worse
*it* gets at keeping things quiet." He shot Lois an apologetic
look, but she just smiled.

Clark interjected. "Chief, you were the one who called on Marie's
cell phone so many times the other night?"

Perry nodded slightly. "Clark, I'm sorry if--" he began.

"No, Perry, it's okay."

Clark gave Lois a squeeze and rubbed his fingers absently over
hers. "You gave Lois and me one of the most incredible dances
we've ever had. I should *thank* you. In fact, I *do* thank you."
He grinned and Perry watched Lois settle down against Clark in
that subtle, almost imperceptible way she had that meant he'd
said something she adored him for.

Damn, but it was good to see the two of them together again,
Perry thought. The King knew they'd have a lot to get through
now, but it was so obvious from the way they held one another
that everything would find a way to work itself out in time.
Their feelings betrayed them as strongly as a beacon on a dark
night.

"I was just on my way out, you two." Perry winked at Lois, who
blushed. "I don't wanna be late." He chuckled to himself and,
with a nod, whistled his way down the hall and toward the
elevator doors.

Lois turned in Clark's arms as the elevator chimed its arrival
and Perry stepped inside. She wrapped her hands around his neck
and he brushed his nose against the tip of hers.

"So, where to now?" Lois whispered, and Clark shook his head
slightly.

"Anywhere, as long as it's with you." He smiled and Lois tipped
forward on her toes to kiss him playfully.

"I want to walk. It's a beautiful night." She fixed him with a
stare of askance and Clark reached up to tuck her hair behind her
ear.

"Then, let's walk." He hooked his arm around her waist and she
twined her fingers back through his.

***

It was a cool night. Not unpleasantly so, but enough so that Lois
could justify the closeness with which she held herself to Clark.
Not that she needed any justification, but there was still
something about escaping from the chill in the air by allowing
herself the comfortable warmth of his arms around her. (And his
jacket -- it really *was* getting chilly!) She shivered.

"Lois, if you're cold, I can take us some place warm," Clark
mentioned, slightly concerned, but Lois demurred.

"Warmer than this?" Lois pulled on Clark's arms and ran her
fingers over his skin. "I don't think so." She sighed and Clark
chuckled.

"Well, as long as you're sure."

"I'm being clingy, aren't I?" Lois shifted her position to regard
him fully.

"Lois, no ... at least, it wouldn't matter to me if you were. I'm
feeling the same way right now. I don't want to let go either."
Clark pulled her closer as if to illustrate his thoughts.

"Then we don't have to, do we? I mean ... if we're both feeling
this way, we should give in to it?" Lois asked hopefully.

Clark cupped her face in his hand. "There's nothing I want more,"
he whispered, leaning forward to initiate a soft kiss.

"Isn't that the Regency?" Lois queried as their mouths separated.
Clark looked up in a daze and nodded. Lois tossed him a shy look,
yet Clark caught the sly sparkle there as well. With an eager
smile, he gathered her close and they hurried toward the large,
glittering building only a block away.

***

"Oh, Clark, it's beautiful," Lois gasped as they entered the
large suite he'd been living in since his return to the city.
Well, he'd been there one night at least.

Clark grinned at her and she looked around. "It's even larger
than the honeymoon suite at the--" Her voice trailed off as she
felt Clark's arms slide around her waist.

"Well, that's why it's a hotel suite. Living like this every day
would just be-- too much." He spun her around in his grasp and
ran his fingertips over her arms.

"Not enough," she whispered and leaned forward, initiating a deep
and searching kiss. Clark moaned and felt her body slacken
against his as the encounter became more intense. The couple
disengaged, if only for a short gasp of air, before their lips
pressed together once more and the ritual began, over and over
again. Lois drew her hands up to his neck and placed her palms on
either side of the back of Clark's head, feeling his soft hair
trickle through them.

"God, I'm so drunk on the way you feel, Clark," she whispered,
pulling his mouth to hers repeatedly.

"I know," he breathed out on a sigh. "I feel the same way about
you."

His body shuddered at the light caress of her fingertips near the
base of his neck and he rocked forward, dipping the tip of his
tongue inside of her ear.

"Mmmm," Lois moaned softly. "Don't stop."

"I won't," he promised, finding the sensitive shell and pulling
his warm mouth along it playfully. Lois gasped and Clark
chuckled. "You really like that, don't you?" he murmured against
her skin.

Lois pulled back as though she would answer his question
directly, but then fell forward once again, brushing her moist
lips over his neck and throat.

"Lois ... " Clark breathed, and she smiled.

"Yes, Clark?"

"I think I'm going insane," he whispered into her hair, as she
continued her explorations, pulling on the lobe of his ear with
her teeth and then kissing him softly behind it. He groaned.

"Take me with you," she whispered back, and he pulled her forward
into his arms.


Clark held Lois close to him as he reclaimed reality, listening
to the sound of their breathing returning slowly to normal, and
loving her more than he ever dreamed it was possible to love. He
cradled her in his embrace.

"I love you so much, Clark." He heard her whisper against him and
he sighed happily. "I love ... " She trailed off, seemingly at a
loss for words. Clark slowly caressed her arms and Lois pulled
closer to him. She wrapped her leg around one of his and reached
up to brush his hair away from his face.

"Lois, you are *everything* to me. And I intend to spend the rest
of our lives together proving that to you over and over again."
He bent forward and kissed her lips, tugging gently as they
separated.

"Clark ... " Lois stared into his eyes for several moments and he
used his fingertips to brush at a lock of hair which clung
stickily to her forehead. "Just shut up and kiss me." A smile
crept over her face and Clark looked down at her with an
expression of absolute adoration.

"Absolutely," he murmured, fastening his lips on hers and pulling
her to him as his questing hand found an even more precious
prize.

"Clark!" Lois gasped, and then added breathlessly, "Ohh ... don't
stop ... "

He didn't.

THE END