Temporary Insanity

By Demi

There were papers everywhere. On the desk, on the polished
surface of the floor, some still floating haphazardly through the
air on the way to a resting place. It was a complete mess. And it
was a complete *disaster* in a day that couldn't have possibly
gotten any worse for Lois Lane. This was it!

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Lois..." Jimmy quickly gathered his
miscellaneous papers up from their resting place at Lois' feet
and scrambled to retrieve the file which had fallen from his
hands.

Glancing down at the offending file folder, now devoid of its
previous cargo (which lay incongruously next to one of Lois'
bright red, high-heeled shoes), Jimmy noticed uneasily that Lois'
foot tapped impatiently against the floor as she herself stared
icily down at his efforts.

"I guess I wasn't watching where I was going..." Jimmy
apologized.

"No, I *guess* not." Lois scowled at the young man. Normally,
something like this wouldn't have bothered her, but today...today
was different. Today the whole world was different. "You know
that the problem here is, Jimmy? The *problem* is that you
*never* seem to be watching ... *anything*, ever. You want to be
a good reporter and get off of those two-bit amateur garbage
collector assignments Perry keeps giving you? You have to learn
to pay more attention. Attention....Jimmy? Are you listening to
me? Come to think of it, perhaps if *I* would have figured that
out sooner, maybe...just *maybe* I wouldn't be so...so... God I
hate this!" Lois threw her hands up in complete exasperation. It
wasn't bad enough that her whole universe was in a shambles, of
course not. It wasn't even bad enough that she didn't know if she
even felt like living anymore. **Goddamn you, Clark Kent!! I
could kill you!** No she couldn't. She couldn't because she was
still completely, head over heels, madly, *passionately* in love
with the man. And *that* made her madder than anything else.

"Lois," Jimmy managed to cut in. "...hold up, are you feeling all
right? You look kind of...upset. "

"Ha!" **He thinks I'm upset? He doesn't even know what upset
*means*!**

"I look upset? Really? Okay, let me let you in on a little secret
James Olsen, I am *upset*. I'm upset because I'm mad. I'm really,
really mad, and if you were me you'd be mad too, and you'd have
every reason to be mad!"

Moving backwards from his position at her feet, Jimmy dusted
himself off. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Lois
this...upset. Except maybe that time that Clark had gone out to
lunch with Mayson Drake and left her a note on her desk...

"Whoa, Lois, listen, this sounds serious. Maybe I'm not who you
should be talking to, what about CK?" Jimmy glanced over his
shoulder at the elevator, hoping desperately that Clark would be
there so he could escape... "...And speaking of *talking*, I kind
of have to get my butt in gear before Perry finds out I m talking
to you instead of getting this copy outta here. I m sorry, I
gotta fly..." Quickly gathering the last of his fallen papers off
of the floor, Jimmy dashed out from under Lois' death glare and
ducked into the elevator, brushing past Clark who stepped out
into the newsroom.

"Hey, CK, just in time." Jimmy added hastily over his shoulder,
as he swept into the open elevator. "Lois is really bummed this
morning! I'm not sure I'd want to be the guy that has to cool her
off today!" He grinned mischievously at Clark as the elevator
doors closed around him.

Clark sighed and shook his head. It was going to be a long day.
It was probably going to be a long month. He just hoped it wasn't
going to be a really long career. From below in the newsroom Lois
glanced up at him, her face assuming an air of quiet
indifference. **Oh god, she hates me** Clark glanced back at her
and smiled...barely. He hadn't realised how difficult it would be
to see her this morning, especially after last night. She
looked...beautiful, as ever. Her short hair pulled back to curl
around her small delicate ears in that endearing way that was all
Lois'. Clark could feel a lump rising up into his throat and a
the knot in his stomach tighten into an aching ball. It felt
like...like nothing he had ever experienced before. Physical pain
was something he had only ever had to worry about around
Kryptonite, and even then, he felt that he would much rather face
a ten ton ball of the green menace rather than have to endure the
cloying ache which pervaded his body now. Dying. It felt like
dying. Only this time, Clark knew that there would be no final
release as might come with any real death. For all he knew, this
could go on forever.

"Kent, are you gonna stand there all day gawking, or are you
gonna get some work done around here?" It was Perry's voice.
Clark shook off his momentary daze and snapped to attention.

"Yes, Chief, sorry. I guess I got a bit sidetracked." Clark
swallowed visibly and looked back in the direction of the woman
who held his life in her delicate hands every day. For her part,
Lois, who had been looking in his direction as well, noticed his
gaze shift to her eyes and turned away. Sitting back down at her
desk, he saw her fingers moving quickly over a keyboard that
hadn't been used all morning ... until now.

Clark made his way towards his own desk, stopping briefly to
stand next to Lois'.

"Hi Lois." His voice was soft and so full of despair it almost
tore through Lois' heart to hear him speaking. Maybe he was
wrong, maybe they *could* go back to the way things were,
maybe...*maybe* she shouldn't be such a fool - again. She had
already been almost completely emotionally destroyed by two men.
Who was to say that Clark wouldn't be the same? Who was to say
that he...that *they* hadn't made the right choice last night.
**Who am I kidding? Clark could never be the same as the others.
I never loved any of them the way I love him...** Then why? All
Lois knew was that she was hurt and angry and afraid. And that
she wasn't going to allow Clark to see any of this...except maybe
the anger.

"Clark." she said, not bothering to look up from her screen. The
fact that Lois was giving him the brush off didn't bother Clark
as much as the way she spoke. He could tell that she was hurt.
All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and hold her,
right there and to hell with what anybody else thought. And why
not? She would let him, he *knew* she would! Why should he let
his pride stand in the way? Or her pride for that matter? But he
*couldn't* and a part of him was disgusted with himself for not
being able to do it.

"Lois, this won't work. We can't be this way. We're a TEAM
remember? Lane and Kent? We have to work together every day,
professionally. What happens if we need to collaborate on a
story? It won't work."

"You already said that." Lois' tone was icy as she continued to
stare at her monitor and tapped her fingers impatiently against
her desk. What did he think he was doing? After everything that
happened last night he thought that he could just walk in here
and expect them to be friends? Just pick up where they left off,
sans the engagement and the romance, just be buddy buddy like
nothing happened? No way. That was just impossible. "In fact,
isn't that what we BOTH said last night as well? How odd....the
same sentence, two very different meanings." Lois smiled
bitterly.

Clark sighed. **I love you, Lois.**

"Lois, you know why we said...why we *did* what we did." he
looked down at her and frowned.

Glancing up, she shot Clark a cold glare, but even as she did,
she noticed the expression on his face was not grim and
determined as it had been last night. It was almost...sad. **Oh
Clark...** Suddenly all she wanted to do was jump up and fall
into his arms, for him just to hold her and stroke her hair, to
tell her...what?

Everything was so clear last night. Why was it so complicated
today?

"No, Clark. What I *know* is that we ended it... for us. What I
*know* is that we were going to get *married* and now, we can't
even have a civil conversation..."

Clark regained his resolute determined face and moved around so
that he was standing almost in front of her. "Lois, don't. It
doesn't matter. We made the right choice. I can't expect to have
a 'normal' life any more than..." Clark looked down for a moment
and lowered his voice to almost a whisper, lest the other
employees in the newsroom might hear him. "...well now, I dunno,
I guess there really isn't a precedent for an alien from another
planet landing on earth and..." Clark stopped abruptly and looked
up to find himself staring into the face that held him captive
every time he saw it. Forcing his eyes away before she could read
his expression, and before he lost any more of his already waning
control, he glanced quickly down towards her desk where he
noticed all of the miscellaneous papers that were all in Lois'
words, 'exactly where I know where to find them'. He noticed her
small delicate hands sitting on top of her keyboard, hands which
had so often brushed tenderly against his face, hand which
had...no trace of the ring they had worn only yesterday.

"And what?" Lois looked up at Clark, who seemed as distant as the
world where he was born. "Clark?" Why was he doing this?
Everything had been so clear just a moment ago, and nothing had
changed, so why did she suddenly feel like she was...

"...falling in love." he spoke, as he lifted his gaze
reluctantly, to meet hers.

"Clark..." Lois' voice was soft, and Clark wasn't sure if he
heard the familiar break in its cadence that usually meant tears
were being held back. He felt as though his heart was being torn
in half. **No, please, God, please don't cry...**

"Lois, I did a lot of thinking last night, and you were right, I
can't... *We* can't do this ..." Clark gently placed his hand
against her face. It felt so right, the way her small features
fit perfectly into the palm of his large masculine hand. Now, if
his resolve had been shaken before, he realized that he couldn't
hurt her. Not ever. It had to be over. "You know what the
strangest part is? I think I've always known. I just... never
wanted to admit it...I was selfish." The knot in his stomach
became an insistent pulsing agony and Clark wondered if he could
survive it. Lois just stared up at him, a mixture of hurt and
pride evident on her face, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He
couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. Unable to listen to
her response, Clark swallowed hard and turned away from the one
person who meant more to him than anything else in the universe.
It was probably the second hardest thing he had ever done in his
life, he thought bitterly. The hardest was when he had to watch
Lois remove the engagement ring from her finger, when he saw the
tears in her eyes as she did. And now, having seen her this one
last time had confirmed everything he had been so confused about
last night. Taking a deep breath, he walked slowly away towards
the elevator, into which he slipped quietly, and was gone.

"Clark..." Lois whispered rather than called out, lest the entire
newsroom notice the tears which fell unbidden, and trickled down
her cheeks once again.

Safely inside his small confinement, a young, broken man sank to
his knees against the wall and sobbed bitterly.

***

"I knew it! I knew it!" Lois smiled enigmatically at her partner
in crime, Bobby Bigmouth, as he gleefully munched on yet another
eggroll.

"Lows, I gotta tell ya I'surewasss," Bobby reached out and gulped
down an entire can of soda before continuing. "...difficult to
get those guys to confess. I'm glad I was only hiding in the
shadows, guns you know...they give me ... indigestion."

"Bobby, you're an angel...a saint! Did I ever tell you that?"

"Yeah, sure, sure, could you pass the shrimp? Man, I never
figured espionage could build me up such an appetite, usually you
know, it's just word on the street, and that's hungry work in
itself, but this spying stuff...I'm starved!" Bobby grabbed the
small white container proudly displaying the logo of "Ralph's
Pagoda" and Lois smiled inwardly. Sometimes, having to shell out
in order to feed Bobby's seemingly bottomless pit was rewarded by
the fact that she could watch him eat almost anything and never
get ill. **He must have a cast iron stomach, that one**

"So..." Lois looked up from her 'otherwise engaged' companion and
stared thoughtfully out into space. "... If Intergang is behind
all of the recent robberies and computer fraud in the scientific
community, what could they be after?"

Bobby glanced up quickly, almost too quickly, but just in time to
see Lois' shrewd stare confront him.

Confused for a split second, Lois only narrowed her eyes at his
sudden response to her question. But the look of confident
calculation which Lois thought she had seen on Bobby's face was
no longer present.

"Look, Lois, don't take me there." Bobby spoke through mouthfuls
of Slippery Shrimp. "I don't know, and I don't *wanna* know. I've
already stuck my neck out as far as it'll reach on this one, and
I ain't goin' no further. Next time I give you a lead, you can
spy by yourself. I almost got my head blown off today!" Bobby
patted his own neck reassuringly and then continued with his
assault on the box of shrimp.

"I know, Bobby, and I appreciated it! Didn't I get you this
'extra' dinner on top of the three boxes of pastries from
'Logan's'? Didn't I take you all the way back here to my
apartment so you could eat in peace?"

Bobby smirked. "You're here." he said matter-of- factly. "Where's
the peace? ...And, for that matter, I *still* ain't goin' with
you next time. Why don't you take Kent with you? I'm sure he
wouldn't mind following you off the edge of the planet.." At the
mention of Clark, Lois' face fell noticeably, and she looked away
for a second before returning her attention to Bobby's continuing
verbal tirade. "... *I*, on the other hand, still have some
regard for my own life. You know something? This *Love* stuff is
overrated. A guy's gotta watch his own neck as far as I'm
concerned, and being *in love* just gets in the way. Ah...but you
probably disagree with me...being there yourself. I ain't no
poet, but what is it that those poet types are always sayin'?
Once bitten...I don't remember the rest."

"Twice shy." Lois whispered and looked down at her hand as it
rested on the table. Her 'ringless' hand.

"What?" Bobby was once again chomping.

"Once bitten, twice shy. That's the cliche. But it doesn't fit in
your context." She glanced up at Bobby and then tried to smile.
"Anyway, I don't think Clark would follow me off the edge of the
planet. Not anymore." She whispered, and then added in an even
quieter voice. "...at least not this one."

"You know, Lois, I don't get you sometimes, always whispering to
yourself. You need to seek help." Bobby regarded Lois for a
moment while she fixed him with her finest 'very funny' stare,
before he continued, "...I'm kidding, Lois. Look, its been real,
but I gotta fly..."

The last part of Bobby's sentence grabbed Lois' attention and for
a moment she simply stared at him.

"What? Do I got sauce on my face?" Bobby dabbed at the corners of
his mouth with a napkin.

Snapping out of her trance, Lois shook her head slightly. Bobby
frowned in return. He looked almost ... sympathetic, but then
with Bobby, Lois could never be sure of anything ... except maybe
his appetite.

"No, no Bobby, thanks a lot. Call me if you hear anything else."
Lois shook her head slowly, to clear it, as she watched Bobby
moved towards her door before turning back one last time.

"As usual, Lois, you'll never hear from me again, " He winked at
her "...and I was never here and you never saw me" Bobby smiled.
"G'bye, Lois..." He turned and left her, standing thoughtfully,
next to her couch. Sighing, she closed and locked her door and
moved back over to fall unceremoniously into her sofa.

**Oh God, what a killer headache** She brought one hand up to
massage her temples as she allowed herself to think verbally. "I
don't need you anyway, Clark. I got along just fine without you
for years, why should NOW be any different?" Closing her eyes,
Lois tried to remember a time when she was happy. Instead,
shattering images popped uninvited into her head and as she
slipped into a fitful sleep, dreaming of Clark, and the horrible
night before.

"No! I disagree." Lois shot Clark a frustrated glare and took a
step towards him. They had been in her apartment for two hours,
having come to loggerheads over an investigation they could not
seem to see eye to eye on. Not that this was anything new lately.
"It's not as though Intergang hasn't run *all* of the crime in
Metropolis before! What makes you think that if they have their
hands into 98% of all the experimental labs in the country, they
would leave S.T.A.R Labs alone?" Her tone was quickly approaching
exasperated.

Clark rolled his eyes, just slightly, even so Lois noticed the
gesture and scowled. "Lois, think about it. With Superman
actively involved in protecting the facility, how could anyone
get in or out without *my* knowing? I mean, I think I would
recognize known members of Intergang entering and exiting the
building." Clark gave Lois his patented 'ironic' look and tipped
his head to one side as if anticipating her reaction.

It had taken Clark three years to get Lois exactly where he
wanted her in both his personal *and* professional lives. In that
time, he had amassed plenty of practice in dealing with her
subtle arrogance. Tonight however, Clark was having a hard time
keeping his cool. Lois was being completely unreasonable! And she
was getting to him...again. Worst of all, she didn't seem as
though she would be willing to back down any time soon.

For her part, Lois simply continued to stare at him, her scowl
having transformed into an expression of utter disbelief. "I
cannot *believe* I am hearing this. You are *so* naive sometimes!
Come on, Clark! You can't be everywhere, *all* the time, and
Intergang knows that. Just like they *know* that you are more
active with S.T.A.R. Labs than perhaps 'the Man of Steel' ought
to be..." That was it. That was just...IT.

"Oh really? You're the expert, right?" Clark threw back at her.
"You know how I should live my life as Superman *much* better
than *I* ever could! What are you saying *this* time, Lois? That
I might be blowing my own cover in helping S.T.A.R. Labs do
research on Kryptonite?"

Clark couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was bad enough
that Lois would challenge him on his ability to stay on top of
things in his own life, but to attack his keeping a close eye on
S.T.A.R Labs when she *knew* exactly why he *had* to do it...

"Okay...and you propose I do.....what? Just leave them alone with
it? As much as I might trust Dr. Kline, I'm not sure I would be
willing to give him free rein on something as dangerous to me as
Kryptonite..."

"Clark." Lois' tone was resigned, and she seemed unaffected by
his verbal attack. "*Maybe* you shouldn't have handed Kryptonite
over to those scientists in the first place! You should have just
gotten rid of it! Thrown it up into space or ... something." She
was scared. He could see it in her eyes. And her fear for him
began to drain away any of the anger he had been feeling, slowly
replacing it with that warm confusing knot he always felt in the
pit of his stomach whenever he held her close to him, the energy
between them that sometimes made him feel like he wanted to just
hold forever, absorb her into himself, somehow.

Lois continued, "...I mean, its not as if they've made any
startling *breakthroughs* yet, have they? And how long will it be
before someone like Intergang catches on to the fact that
Superman is interested in S.T.A.R. Labs because..."

**I love you.** he wanted to say. **Do you have any idea how much
I just want to take you in my arms and hold you right now?**.

"Because what?" He cut her off instead. "Lois, *nothing* is going
to happen to me, I've got everything under control and I wish
sometimes that you'd just...that you'd..." At a loss for words,
Clark sighed in frustration and threw his arms up
unceremoniously. **How could I love you so much that it
HURTS...and want to wring your neck at the same time? Do you have
any idea what you do to me, Lois Lane?** Unexpectedly, Clark
shook his head and laughed out loud.

"What?"

"Lois, can we just drop this *please?*"

"No, Clark, we can't." It was Lois' turn to be affronted, or so
it appeared to Clark. She was mad, there was no question of that,
and somehow, Clark thought that his short burst of laughter, as
innocent as his motives had been, had only served to make her
even angrier. "We've been *dropping* too many things lately, and
it's time we got things out in the open, don't you think?" Lois
began to pace back and forth from her sofa to the window where
Clark stood, casually dressed in his street clothes.

Clark watched her briefly. Lois always paced when she was
uncomfortable or anxious.

"I mean..." she continued "...maybe we could at least *start*
talking, seeing as how we both KNOW we won't get to finish this
conversation." She glared at him, daring him to understand the
implications of her innuendo.

Clark didn't need any further encouragement. "Oh I get it. You're
going to start in again about how I get called off every time we
start to have a serious talk, aren't you? Lois," Clark sighed.
"... I thought we had an understanding about this? I *have* to
go..." She was drawing him in expertly, he could feel the anger
rising up inside of him...how did she do it? She always knew
*exactly* which strings to pull, which needles to push into his
exposed ego. Well she wasn't going to get away with it this
time.

"Right. Every single time. It's not like the police could handle
things by themselves once in a while is it? I mean, the world was
just complete CHAOS before *Superman* came along, and we all KNOW
that..."

"Lois!"

"What?!" Lois shot back at Clark. She knew her remarks would hurt
him. A part of her was even glad.

"Lois, Superman is a big part of who I am. I've divided myself in
two so effectively that I can't be *both* at the same time
anymore. And sometimes..."

"And sometimes I just want to be with Clark!" Lois screamed in
frustration and turned in her pace, walking away from Clark
before spinning back around to face him once again, pointing a
finger at him accusingly. "I just want to sit down for one *full*
evening in front of a VCR with the man I'm *in love* with
and....and an old movie and *know* that if I lay back in his arms
and fall asleep, that he'll, that *you'll* still be there when I
wake up..." Lois glared at Clark, her eyes challenging him to
tell her she was wrong in asking for what she had.

"I can't promise you that, Lois. I'm sorry." Clark's expression
was unreadable. He hoped.

"No. You aren't sorry, and you probably shouldn't be. I hate this
conversation even more than you do because *I* am clearly the bad
guy here."

"Lois, you're not..."

"Yes. Yes, I am. But you know what? I don't care anymore. I guess
I just want to have a REAL life with *my* fiance. Sometimes, if
not all the time, *once in a while*! You know what? Everything in
life is a choice, Clark. You *choose* not to promise me a night,
even an evening with no interruptions. And the worst part is that
I shouldn't even be angry with you for that. But I am, Clark. I
am, and sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, after you've
-~> off yet again, and I *know* I won't see you again until the
next day...sometimes I even find myself wondering if this can
work anymore..." Lois heard the words tumble from her mouth as
she let herself lace into Clark. This time, it was his turn to
glare at her. **Funny, I was just wondering the same thing**

"Lois, where is this going..."

"We have to be honest, Clark." Lois' tone was outright mad.
"...you said it yourself, didn't you? Sometimes you just wish
I'd...? What? So say it now, Clark."

"Let me do what I have to do. Alone." Clark looked down, as if
the admission of his thoughts was somehow also an admission of
guilt for some other heinous crime.

"Exactly. You think I interfere with your job as Superman. I know
that." The biting anger in Lois' voice only served to set Clark
on edge.

"How can you do this, Lois? How can you take issues we have
*agreed* upon and just ... God you make me so angry sometimes!"
Clark fixed his partner with a steely gaze before continuing.
"You know what? I AM tired of you always having to *win* every
argument. And you once told me that neither Clark nor Superman
had the right to live your life for you, and yet you always seem
to want to have a handle on *my* life...especially as Superman!
How is *that* different, Lois? Maybe we DO need to talk about
this and..."

"What, Clark? What could you possibly say that would change
*anything*? You'll still always go running off at the slightest
'Oh My...' in the distance..." Lois fired back at him in
defiance. Clark locked his gaze on her somber expression and knew
that he could not let this last dig go unchallenged.

"I seem to recall one or two pleas for help from a certain star
*reporter* who was none too upset to see Superman come to HER
rescue!" He shot back. "What do you think? Should I start
splitting hairs? I *have* to be 'Him' *some* of the time. You
KNOW this! Why are we even having this discussion?!" Hurt and
upset, Clark looked directly into Lois' face and saw only anger
and determination. Or perhaps that was all he would let himself
see.

"But you're not just 'Him' *some* of the time anymore, Clark,
you're HIM *most* of the time, and this is not a discussion
anymore, in case you haven't noticed, it's an argument. We're not
even married and we're already fighting. It's just like my
parents... "

Clark scowled. "Oh really? Well ... maybe it's a Lane family
trait then?" **Oh no.** He wished he could have taken this last
comment back the moment the words rolled easily off of his lips,
and he could see them slicing deeply into Lois even now.

She was silent for long moments, her eyes ever so slightly
glassy, so that Clark was unable to tell if she was really on the
verge of tears, or if it was simply the play of the light.
"Maybe." she whispered, and then, from somewhere deep inside of
her she found that 'Lois Lane' air of self- confidence, a wall of
pride which Clark had encountered when he first met her. It was
an insurmountable barrier she had kept for so many years, only
slowly revealing herself to him as their feelings become
stronger. She flung it now in front of her once again.

"You're right, Lois. Maybe this *isn't* going to work." A big
part of Clark wondered if he'd hurt Lois with this last remark,
but a smaller, yet somehow even more insistent part of him, was
so full of guilt and shame and pride, that it forbade him to
apologize.. "I *have* to be Superman and it isn't fair for me to
ask you to give up your own personal life the way that I've given
up mine." Clark took a step backwards unconsciously. He knew what
he had said was hurtful and untrue, and he cringed when he saw
Lois throw up her defenses against *him*. The defenses he had
worked too long and hard to get her to drop, and he had forced
her to pull them out again with little more that a few ill chosen
words spoken in anger.

"Touche." Lois took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "So, it's
official then. It won't work with us, will it?" She looked down
at her feet, unable to face Clark and all of the implications of
this newest decision.

"I guess not." Clark refused to look away.

Glancing up, Lois drew on all of the strength she had left inside
of her, pulling herself further and further behind the familiar
wall she had built up so long ago. She reached down and gently
toyed with the small gold and diamond band which she wore around
her left ring finger. It was a symbol which had only a few
moments ago, it seemed, represented the most powerful feelings
she had ever felt in her life. Clark watched her hand as she
slowly slipped the ring from her finger and it was all he could
do not to reach out and stop her...somehow. **Lois, No...please!
I'll do anything you want...anything you say, don't do this!**
Clark felt the words rise in his throat but was unable to speak.
It was like a horrible nightmare, but it was real. How could this
be happening? This was insane, impossibly insane and yet he could
figure out no way to stop it from happening. For the second time
in his life, Clark Kent felt utterly and completely helpless, and
he thought, with bitter irony, the first time was when Lois had
said yes...to Lex.

Lois watched the small gold band slide from her finger and into
the palm of her other hand. She shivered with cold as she felt a
rush of emptiness wash over her, enveloping her in a bleakness
that threatened to consume her. Holding the delicate ring , she
knew there were unshed tears shining in her eyes and she knew
that Clark could see them. It was too late anyway. She extended
her hand, and the ring, out towards him.

Looking at Lois, that way just then, Clark was unable to speak.
All he could think about were her words and his as they rang out
in his head unendingly. He took the ring.

"God," Lois allowed herself to look up at Clark, whose own eyes
glistened with impending tears. "I never thought this could feel
so much...like dying." He held the ring for a moment before
slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. Silence seemed to hang
over them for an eternity, until Clark suddenly looked up, away
from Lois, a far-off expression crossing his face. Lois let out a
small moan, it was the closest she had come to actually allowing
herself to cry.

"I...I gotta go..." Clark pointed vaguely out in one direction,
even as Lois was able to compose herself once again.

"Yeah." It was Lois' turn to be at a loss for words.

Clark moved back a few steps before spinning into his familiar
red and blue costume. "Good-bye, Lois." He glanced at her one
last time before he turned, and then disappeared through her
window into the night sky.

**What is that?**

The phone was ringing. Lois woke from a fitful sleep, at first
unaware of the nature of the harsh noise which had jolted her
back into consciousness. Finally turning her attention to the red
phone which sat next to her, she had regained enough coherence to
pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Lois, it's me - Jimmy."

"Jimmy, it's Sunday, it's my day off." Lois rubbed her eye with
her other hand. "...Listen, I was meaning to talk to you...I'm
sorry about the other day, I had no right to yell at you like
that, it's just that I was feeling kind of out of sync, and I
guess I just took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that."

"I know, Lois, it's okay, and I'm not calling about that anyway
*really*. I also know it's your day off and this sucks, but the
Chief asked me to call you *and* Clark. Another science lab got
hit last night. Computers have been wiped clean, and any of the
data which was copied to disk has been stolen."

Lois yawned loudly. "Jimmy, this is the 6th lab this month, it's
not exactly breaking news." Falling back onto the couch, still
holding the receiver, Lois sighed, her mind still replaying some
of her more recent dreams. She was afraid they might never go
away.

"Yeah I know, but the Chief figured you'd want to know since you
seemed interested in these guys before..."

"What guys...?"

"S.T.A.R. Labs."

Lois sat bolt upright. "S.T.A.R. Labs? Jimmy, are you sure?"

"Positive, Lois. It was a clean getaway, too."

"Jimmy, listen to me, and this is VERY important. I want you to
find out *exactly* what was stolen last night, and I'm not just
talking about computer data, I mean *anything*, everything okay?"
Lois could feel her heart pounding in her chest. **oh god, what
if they had found the Kryptonite? They could get to Clark...they
could kill him...**

"Sure, Lois, I'll get right on it..."

"Now, Jimmy! This is very important."

"I get that impression...I'm on it."

Lois hung up the receiver and stared for a moment at a photo of
Clark and herself across the room. "We may not be together
anymore, Clark, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and
watch them kill you."

***

Clark hung up the phone in his apartment and spun into his
Superman costume. When he had finally arrived home last night
after his patrol of the city, he had fallen asleep almost
immediately. Thoughts of Lois and the last couple of days had
kept his dreams fitful until he woke this morning to...the sound
of Lois' heartbeat? Was she frightened? He wasn't sure, because
just then the phone had rang. After he'd hung up, having spoken
with Jimmy, Clark listened again, but the sound was gone.

As he took off from his apartment and flew across the city
towards S.T.A.R. Labs' facility. He could just hear Lois' 'I told
you so' echoing in his head. But the thought of that, instead of
making him angry, only made him miss her more. He even missed the
way she used to *insist* she was right, the way she rubbed it in
when it was (often) discovered that she really was. Mostly, he
missed the more recent way he had been apologizing to her of
late, the kisses that seemed to last for hours until one or the
other pulled away, unwilling but resolute, lest their mutual
agreement to 'wait' until after the wedding would be broken.

Lost in thoughts of Lois, Clark almost missed S.T.A.R. Labs
altogether. As it was he veered down quickly and landed, just
barely on target, at the site of what was now a full-blown police
investigation. He decided to do some exploring of his own.

After about twenty minutes, a silver Jeep pulled up onto the side
of the road. Lois, bold and defiant as always, stepped out and
walked straight through the line of 'Police Tape', marching
inside the building before any of the busy investigators noticed
she had even been through. Coming upon lab 6, the area dedicated
to the study of Superman, and more notably... Kryptonite; Lois
found it empty, the police having not yet searched this far into
the building. She stepped carefully over the broken test tubes,
beakers and miscellaneous papers which were scattered haphazardly
over the floor and made her way to a small vault, which stood
open. Moving cautiously inside, she came upon a sight she had not
been prepared for. Sitting, knees pulled up to his chest, in and
among the various items of disarray, was Superman.

Lois held her breath before entering. The sight of Clark, alone,
looking very distressed and unhappy made her heart ache, but she
knew that she would never allow herself to comfort him, not now.

"Clark..." Lois could not remember seeing him look this lost in a
long time.

At the sound of her voice, Clark looked up at Lois, blankly, a
worried expression visible on his face for only a moment.

"It's okay, there's no one here." She managed a half smile. "They
probably won't get to this area for another hour or so...no one
saw me come in." Clark sighed and nodded.

"The master of subterfuge. You should be the one wearing the
cape." He looked up again briefly.

"No, we tried that, remember? I don't have the body for it." She
smiled at her own remark.

"I disagree."

"What?" Lois looked down at his serious expression.

"Nothing. They have it."

"I thought so." Lois moved towards Clark and lowered herself down
to sit next to him, various papers sliding out of the way as she
adjusted her position to be comfortable. "Is it still in the
box?"

"I guess so." He looked directly at her while he spoke. "The box
is gone too, and I doubt they could have cracked the code to open
it before they would have had to get out of here. They might not
even know what's in it." Clark looked down. He knew even as he
said them, that his words were probably untrue.

"It's Intergang. We can find them..." Lois reached out and took
his hand. She held it for a moment, letting her fingers gently
caress his, until he looked up at her and she realized what she
had been doing. Self-consciously, she pulled her hand back into
her own lap and smiled shyly.

"Lois..." Clark's eyes were like warm pools she wanted to lose
herself inside of, but thoughts of the previous night kept
stabbing into her feelings for him. She wanted to hold him. Be
held *by * him. Right here, right now, it hurt so much that she
thought she might *really* die. **God, wouldn't that be ironic?**
But he was looking at her that way again, the way he used
to...Only now, she couldn't let herself be drawn in. She didn't
know if she could go through what she had the other night. Not
again. And they still hadn't resolved anything. Clark lifted one
hand up towards her face - she longed for him to touch her
again...

"So..." Lois interrupted, standing. "What are we doing just
sitting here? We've got some investigating to do."

"You're right." Disappointed, Clark stood up and led the way out
of the vault with Lois following close behind him. He kept
reliving the last few moments of their conversation over and over
in his head, the way she'd held his hand, her fingers lightly
brushing up against his skin. It was driving him crazy. Spotting
an opportunity (and a temporary escape from his irrational mind),
Clark ducked into an alleyway and changed back into his street
clothes. Just as quickly, he slipped back out and matched step
with Lois, who had learned by now to just keep walking as though
he had never left her side. She was an amazing woman.

"Since we already know who's behind it, all we *really* need to
worry about is finding them." She spoke quickly as she walked
beside him. "I say we start with Long Legs Lulu." Lois glanced at
her partner to see what he thought of her idea.

"Lulu. I agree." Clark reached into his pocket to pull out his
note pad realizing as he did so, that he had neglected to remove
the ring from where he had placed it the night before. Holding it
in his hand, Clark let the ring slip between his fingers and then
turned to look at Lois. She was off in her own world. Gently
moving the ring aside, he pulled the pad of paper out and glanced
furtively at his partner in case she had noticed his moment of
irresolution. Lois still seemed distracted in her own thoughts
and Clark was almost relieved.

Suddenly, Lois turned towards him and cocked one eyebrow up. "You
*do* realize you just agreed with me, Mr. Kent?" Her smile was
enigmatic, perhaps more cheerful than she had intended, and so it
was impossible for Clark not to return the favor.

"I know. Strange, isn't it?" Clark clicked on his pen and began
writing *something* on the pad he carried in his hand. Lois, for
her part, returned to what she was best at - talking(!).

"If Lulu's heard anything about who might have the box, there's a
good chance that Intergang will have too, I mean, if it wasn't
them to begin with. And they'll be either looking for it, or
trying to open it, if they haven't already..." It was the
strangest feeling. Lois *knew* that she should still be upset
with Clark. She knew nothing had really changed between them, but
somehow, she found herself falling back into old habits; the
friendly banter they had always had even before they were
involved...romantically. Maybe they could be friends again...
Lois glanced expectantly at Clark. "I think it's time we did a
little bit of 'undercover' work. Aliases, disguises, the whole
bit, you up for it?"

Clark self-consciously straightened his tie. "Always. It's what I
do best, isn't that what you said the other night?" Clark looked
down at her.

Lois stared at him for a moment, obviously moved in some way by
the mention of the other night, though he couldn't tell exactly
which emotion registered on her face.

"I guess I did." She fidgeted with her carry bag for a few
seconds before fixing Clark with another small, shy smile. "I
said a lot of things the other night."

This time, Clark looked right into her eyes, trying to read her
expression, his own conflicting emotions causing him to fail
miserably. "So did I." He whispered, and somehow, they found
themselves inches away from one another...closer and closer...

**He's going to kiss me** For Lois, the moments seemed an
eternity, she closed her eyes and felt the brush of his lips
against her own, sending a shiver through her entire body. She
leaned forward in anticipation...but he was gone.

"I'm sorry...." It was Clark's almost breathless voice. He
cleared his throat, as both straightened up and Lois swallowed
hard. "You mentioned disguises?"

Lois looked down for a moment, hoping Clark hadn't seen her
disappointment. She inwardly resolved to stay firm in her
convictions from now on and mentally kicked herself for being so
weak. "Yes, disguises. I did." Lois regarded her partner for a
moment, appraisingly and then added. "Yes...yes, this COULD
work."

They were both acting as if nothing had happened, and a part of
Clark was almost, relieved. He cocked one eyebrow at his partner.
"What? Lois, I know that look. *What* could work?" He shifted his
focus downward on himself in a futile attempt to see whatever it
was she had seen in him.

"You, in a black suit, plain tie, suspenders...checked I
think...NO, make that Burgundy, nice shirt, new shoes...OH and we
can't forget... the hat..."

"Hat? Lois, NO ONE wears hats anymore, and will you *please* tell
me what your little mind has contrived *this* time?" Clark stared
at Lois incredulously for a moment until she began to laugh.

"Ha! My *little* mind ...you *did* say little didn't you?" Lois
glanced questioningly at Clark.

"Figure of speech..." Clark mumbled guiltily.

Lois smiled at her partner. "Okay, you're forgiven...this time.
My *little* mind has come up with a plan to get us *both* into
the Blue Angel ... *tonight*." Lois smiled at her own
brilliance.

"Ahhhhh, Blue Angel...exclusive club, *known* for its affiliation
with certain members of Intergang...strictly on the QT of
course... HOW?" Clark's curiosity had been aroused. "Besides by
my dressing up like a circus ringmaster...which by the way makes
so much sense if you sit down and think about it..."

"See, I told you!" Lois cut in.

"in a padded room for about 30 years..." Clark finished.

"Ha Ha." Lois, smiled sarcastically at him and continued.
"Actually, it DOES make sense, if you'd just listen instead of
acting like a complete...Clark."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Clark shot back, almost
laughing.

With an exasperated sigh, Lois shoved her pad of paper into her
carry bag just as the two rounded the corner of the street and
turned onto Carter Ave., heading, more from force of habit than
anything else, in the direction of Lois' building. As Lois
unlocked the door to her apartment and they stepped inside, Clark
wondered just how exactly it was that they could be so in sync
sometimes, and so...out of sync others.

"Okay," Lois said as she plunked her bag down on the coffee table
near her couch and turned once again to face Clark. "YOU are a
foreign investor."

"Of course I am." Clark smiled innocently at Lois, a clear
indication that he was just 'humoring' her. "No one would ever
suspect me." He sighed audibly. "I think you've been watching too
many James Bond movies, Lois."

"James Bond was a wimp." Lois shot Clark a dangerous look. "*My*
plan is going to get us into the Blue Angel. Are you listening?"
Lois tapped Clark on the shoulder as he was examining an
arrangement of flowers on a nearby table. Satisfied when she had
regained his attention once again, she continued. "Do you
remember when I went undercover as a singer?"

"Yeah, vaguely, you almost got yourself killed. And I seem to
recall ANOTHER club, when I got shot trying to keep *you* out of
trouble once again..." Clark grinned at her.

"..I remember. Speaking of which, Clark Kent, *I* seem to recall
*you* made me believe you were dead!" Lois looked directly at
Clark and suddenly her expression had changed from amused to
distant. "I was devastated. I thought I'd never see you again, I
thought I'd lost you..." Coming out of her trance, Lois realized
what she had said...aloud.

"I'm sorry, that was kind of a tangent, wasn't it?" She could
almost feel her ears turning red with embarrassment and was very
grateful that she had her now-short hair combed just over them.

"Lois, I didn't *want* to do that to you." Clark reached out one
hand to cup her face in the familiar way he always did. She
marveled at the way her skin responded to his touch, sending an
involuntary shiver up through her spine. "I never wanted to hurt
you on purpose. Ever. I'm sorry. I mean I *was*, ... then." Clark
caught Lois' eyes with his own and for many moments, both seemed
almost transfixed. Then, clearing her throat, Lois looked away
from him and spoke.

"Anyway," she began, turning from him, so that his hand was no
longer against her face. "I was just thinking that since I seem
to be able to work as a singer, I should try it again."

"Lois, do you have any idea how dangerous that could be for you?"
Clark challenged.

"Well...*you'll* be there with me...won't you?" Lois turned and
fixed Clark with her best innocent smile.

Unable to refuse her, as ever, Clark gave in and shook his head.
"Yeah, ... me and my suspenders and my silly hat to boot."

Lois grinned. "Then it's settled, she patted his shoulder as she
walked past him towards her bedroom so that she could change, and
added in passing. "But I wouldn't go with the boots..."

"Ha. Ha." It was Clark's turn to play the sarcastic recipient.

Clark was gone. Lois stepped out of the shower and proceeded to
towel dry her hair. She looked up momentarily and glanced at the
small clock on the counter top which read 5:40pm. He would
probably be back in about 20 minutes. She knew that even though
he had been looking for some pretty 'rare' items for his
'costume' he wouldn't take more than an hour or so. **Ahhh, the
advantages of being able to search the globe in under half an
hour** After finishing her hair and make-up, Lois checked her
appearance in the mirror. Satisfied, she sighed and made her way
into the bedroom where she began to change into her outfit for
tonight's performance. And it would have to be a good one if they
were going to find out anything about who had taken the
Kryptonite from S.T.A.R. Labs. On her bed she had laid out a
beautiful off-the-shoulder dress, all in black with just a sequin
here or there for effect. And as she pulled the tight-fitting
garment down around her, she wondered if anyone would *know* that
she was unable to wear either a bra or underwear with it because
anything would be much too visible. Lascivious thoughts of the
fun she might have in this dress, with Clark *knowing*, ran
rampant through her mind and she forced herself to quell these.
**Why does it hurt so much?** Fully attired, Lois fell back onto
her bed and spread her arms wide above her head.

"Clark...why can't we make it work...?" Lois thought out loud...
"I don't understand anymore..."

***

"It's over." Clark stared across the table at Martha and Jonathan
Kent who sat next to one another with a shared look of sympathy
for their son.

"Clark, it can't be over, honey. You *love* Lois!" Martha
extended one hand and took her son's. "What happened?"

"It's...a *long* story, Mom. It's just, she's out of my personal
life." Clark looked down at a plate of food which had long ago
grown cold and remained untouched. "She gave the ring back to
me...see?" Clark reached into a pocket and pulled out the
precious cargo within. He held the small diamond ring out for
inspection and his mother simply stared him in the face.

"Did you ask for the ring back, son?" Jonathan's low voice
brought Clark out of his temporary melancholy silence.

"No, Dad. Well, not *directly*, I mean, we agreed that it was
over and she just, took it off and gave it to me. I took it. If
that's what you mean..."

"Clark, you silly boy! You took it back?" Martha shook her head
in frustration. "What on earth for? When she handed you that ring
she didn't want you to take it back!"

"She didn't?" Clark looked shocked.

"Heavens, no! She wanted you to tell her *not* to take it off!
She wanted you to tell her that you wouldn't let things just end
like that..." Martha laughed ruefully. "Honestly, Clark,
sometimes I wonder if you *weren't* raised on another planet!"

"But Mom, she took it off! She handed it right to me, and we
*both* said some things..."

"That you BOTH regret right now. I know." Martha smiled. "If I
had a nickel for every time your father and I said some things we
both regretted later, we'd all be rich!"

Clark shook his head. "You and Dad don't argue...not like
this..."

Taking a sip of his coffee Jonathan choked loudly and coughed a
few times. Martha burst out laughing.

"Oh dear...are you alright?" She patted her husband on the back
and glanced at Clark. "Honey, we were very good at finding quiet
places to disagree in. The one thing we COULD always agree on was
that we didn't want YOU to see us fighting."

"Mom, I'm just not sure anymore. About anything." Clark stared
down at his food.

"Well you don't need to be. Oh dear... if we were always *sure*
about everything in life there would be no more fun...no more
adventure and certainly no more romance. How do you feel about
Lois?"

"I don't know." Clark looked up at his mother who frowned at
him.

"Oh yes, you do! How are you feeling right now? Do you feel like
you're shivering on the inside?"

"Yeah, how did you...?"

"It hurts in the middle of your chest and the pit of your stomach
is all tied up in a knot and warm at the same time..."

"Yes." Clark was staring incredulously at his mother, as was
Jonathan who began to smile.

"Well then, it's hopeless." Martha sighed.

"But I thought you were trying to *save* my relationship...?"
Clark was very confused.

"Clark...you're hopelessly *in love*...with Lois. I'm assuming
here since you haven't mentioned anyone else lately..." Martha
frowned thoughtfully.

"Y...Mom! There *is* no one else, only Lois. "

"Well then, what *is* the problem? Get out of here, Clark. You
know exactly what you have to do! I don't know what you were
fighting about and I don't think I need to. Honey...BE IN LOVE.
Don't let some silly argument bury feelings that will drive you
crazy!"

Clark sighed and got up from the table, moving towards the door
he removed the napkin he had tucked into the neck of his shirt,
he opened the back door and moved out slowly, turning back to say
good-bye.

"You know what, Mom? I know you're trying to help, but this time,
it just isn't as simple. I gotta go..." With that, Clark took off
and headed back to Metropolis.

"Clark!" Martha called after her son. "Honestly, Jonathan,
sometimes I just want to strangle that boy! Is that wrong?"
Martha and Jonathan stared at one another for a moment until
Martha burst out laughing. "I give them one week."

"Two weeks, my love, you know how stubborn our son can be..."

"*ONE* and is that a bet?" Martha grinned mischievously at her
husband who smiled in return.

"Bet."

***

Clark arrived back at Lois' apartment at 5:58 p.m. and decided to
take the stairs up. He had stopped to change at his place on the
way over , and now, dressed in a sharp new black suit, complete
with designer suspenders *just* as Lois had outlined (he had had
to stop in Sydney, Australia, to find exactly the right pair); he
knocked twice on her door. Lois, for her part, was glancing at
herself one last time in the mirror.

"This is dumb." Lois regarded her reflection in the full length
mirror. "I haven't felt like this for so long....it's not even
like this is going to be a romantic evening ... this is
business!" She glanced up and turned at the sound of two distinct
knocks.

"Coming!" Gathering her purse up from its resting place on her
bed, Lois dashed into her living room, tossed the small bag onto
the couch and proceeded to unlock and open her door. As it swung
inward, Lois caught her breath. Clark was dressed in a remarkable
black single-breasted suit, he had it open in front and carried a
casual handsome air about him that *screamed* GQ.

"Wow" Lois whispered as she took in the entire view, then
catching herself... "How...come you don't have a hat?" **Stupid
question, Lois...so dumb!** Lois backed up to let Clark into her
apartment. Her snug dress moved with her, accentuating every
curve and feature. Clark was unable to speak. Thoughts of Lois
flooded his mind, and left him larger in places he wished that he
wasn't.

"Clark?" Lois leaned forward to look questioningly at her
partner. "You're staring. Do I look...alright?"

Coming back to reality, Clark let his gaze trail up Lois' body
and settle on her face, her eyes. "You look...breathtaking." His
own eyes reflected an intensity Lois had never seen before. Even
when she *knew* Clark wanted her, she had never seen his eyes
this full of desire. She felt dizzy, almost giddy, and she knew
that if she didn't sit down, she would probably lose her
balance.

"Well..." She reached out one hand to steady herself, and
although it was nowhere near a move to save herself from falling,
rather more of a slow deliberate motion towards the wall, Clark
reached out and caught her wrist, steadying her. Lois smiled,
very distracted..

"Thank you. I was lying down before, I guess, maybe, I got up a
little quickly..." They were very close now and Lois could feel
her body screaming in anticipation of something...*anything*. She
realized that Clark had not spoken for quite a while.

"I guess." When he did, his voice was much deeper than usual. And
Lois looked up, somewhat surprised.

Using every ounce of willpower in her body, she pulled
reluctantly from her incongruous position and turned slowly away
from him, hoping to recover *some* of her sanity before she went
completely 'native'.

"The club..." Lois began, having turned to face the other side of
the room. "... the club doesn't accept guests until nine, thanks
again for coming early. I was hoping to work out the details of
our plan before we left." Lois lied. She wasn't exactly sure why
she had asked Clark to show up so much earlier this way, the
'plans' would only have taken about 15 minutes to go over and she
knew it. In fact, she scolded herself, there was really only one
reason she asked him over so early. She wanted to be with him.
Her throat was dry and she cleared it softly before continuing.
But Clark had already stopped listening.

All he could think about was her, the softness of her combined
with the sweet smell of her perfume, the way her hair fell in
tiny curls just above her ears, the way her eyes sparkled in the
dim light, the way her dress accentuated every beautiful feature
on what he believed was the most perfect body he had ever seen...
He missed her laugh, her touch, the familiar way she used to hold
her hands against his chest when she would tease him. HE could
still hear his mother's advice echoing in his head... **'She
wanted you to tell her *not* to take it off! She wanted you to
tell her that you wouldn't let things just end like that... Don't
let some silly argument bury feelings that will drive you
crazy!... Honey, BE IN LOVE!** He *was* in love. He didn't think
he had ever felt so intensely about anyone in his entire life. It
was all so completely crazy! **God, I need her so much...**

"And if I could persuade the manager to let me sing I'm sure I
could..." Still facing away from him, Lois was finishing a
thought she had started only a moment before, unaware of Clark's
absence from the discussion. **Lois, how do you do this to me?
How do you make my blood burn and my mind completely
irrational?** His own heart was beating so strongly against his
chest that he couldn't hear Lois' doing the same.

Clark took a step towards her and stopped. **This is crazy! We're
not even together anymore, she gave back the ring!** He saw his
own hand as it moved up towards Lois' back and then shoulder,
seemingly of its own volition. She was still talking when he came
to stand directly behind her, and placed his hands against her.
The room was suddenly silent. In that moment Clark knew that he
would do anything for her. That he would live or die if she so
much as asked him to. How hard would it be to let her have her
one wish? To give her the nights she asked for, the nights
without interruptions. The city had survived without him for so
long and now he was choosing *it* over her. She was always there
for him when he needed her. And he thought, he could even put up
with the way she always liked to *win* every argument. If it
meant being with her, he could do *anything*. He let his finger
trace a line down her arm from her shoulder...

Lois felt fire racing along her arm as his touch awoke something
in her that she had been suppressing ever since he walked through
the door. **What's happening?** Her sharp intake of breath caused
him to pause, momentarily, and then, without a single word, he
tipped his hand onto its back and ran his fingers gently upwards,
caressing her neck and moving her head to one side all in one
motion. He lowered his head to the level of her neck and she
could feel his warm breath against her sensitive skin. It felt as
though every nerve, every muscle in her body had come alive, and
she moaned softly as she felt the warmth of his lips brush
against her neck, and then her back as Clark moved slowly around
her, his hands exploring the length of her arms at first, and
then settling at her waist for a time.

"Clark..." Lois whispered as her head remained tilted to one
side, her eyes still closed.

"Shhhhhh shh shh shh...No interruptions."

"What?" For Lois, this was more of a gasp than a word, as Clark
began trailing light kisses along her neck.

"I promise." Clark came fully around until he stood face to face
with the woman he loved, staring directly into her eyes. "I
promise... no interruptions." His face betrayed all of the
emotion he was feeling and Lois was utterly lost, just as he
was.

"Clark...no, you can't. I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I don't want
you to make a promise like that anymore. I was being selfish. As
usual. I'm always selfish, aren't I?" Her eyes glistened with
tears and Clark could feel his own eyes filling with moisture
rapidly.

"Lois, my beautiful Lois, inside and out." Clark held his hand
out to caress her face and Lois was crying openly now, breathing
in on a sob, she heard herself utter a small strangled moan, so
ashamed of the way she had acted and wondering how he could
possibly love her still, even so.

Clark felt as though his heart would explode. The knot in his
stomach had moved to his chest and he longed to take her into his
arms and hold her, make her part of him forever.

"Have I ever told you how completely, *madly*, head-over-heels in
love I am, with you?" Clark gently wiped a tear away from Lois'
face with the pad of his thumb and bent down to kiss her lightly
on the lips. It was very sweet. Lois tasted like chocolate, and
Clark smiled in spite of himself, knowing she must have had some
of her stash before he came by. For a moment they just stared at
each other, almost as though they were mesmerized. It was Lois
who broke the silence.

"I won't ask you to promise anything that will make you have to
choose." Lois swallowed against her tears and tried to look
resolute, but Clark could still see that the issue was far from
resolved.

"Lois, we should talk." He reached out and gently moved a lock of
wayward hair away from her face and she looked down at the floor,
unable to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it, Clark, I just...I guess I'm just an
awful person because every time I think about us...*together*..."
Lois blushed slightly and Clark felt himself following quickly...
"I see you having to rush off on some emergency! And it makes me
sad, and it makes me...angry." Lois was whispering now, and Clark
could tell that as much as she did feel hurt, she also felt
ashamed for feeling the way that she did. It broke his heart.

"Lois, I understand. And you have every *right* to feel the way
that you do." He sighed and looked into her tear filled eyes.
"You know, sometimes, I get upset about having to *go*...and I
feel like I shouldn't always *have* to drop everything and rush
off to save the day, like I want to have my own life too, only it
doesn't all belong to *me* anymore, Lois. Do you...do you
understand?"

Lois choked on a sob and pulled herself into Clark's arms as he
lifted them up until they completely enveloped her. With the side
of her face pressed tightly against his chest, she spoke. "Yes,
Clark. I *do* understand. I mean, I always have, and that's why I
felt too...awful for being jealous. I loved Superman... and I
hated him." Lois tensed, expecting to feel Clark stiffen beneath
her, but instead, she felt his arms wrap more tightly around her
and she felt him...crying? Yes, he was definitely crying, she
could feel his quiet sobs moving inside his chest. And she could
hear the soft intake of each breath as he shook beneath her. She
held him so tightly that she thought her arms might break away
from her body, and she let one hand reach up to stroke his hair
from behind.

"Oh, Clark. How did we let this happen to us?" Clark was still
pressed against her, he couldn't remember the last time he had
felt more love and security. It was like, they had become one
person, held together, even breathing as one. It was the most
remarkable feeling he had ever experienced in his life and he
wanted it to last forever.

"Lois, I don't care about any of it anymore. I mean, I've
decided, *you* are the most important, most wonderful...
treasure, I have ever known..." Clark spoke softly and Lois might
have leaned back to look at him if he wasn't still holding her to
him with such force. She smiled against his chest and marveled at
how someone with such strength was able to be so gentle and
vulnerable. She loved him with a passion that made her toes
tingle and her chest ache every time she was around him. He made
her feel like she was so special, so precious...

"I promise not to be so...controlling, about Superman I mean."
Lois drew in a deep breath as she felt Clark release his embrace
very slightly, perhaps sensing that she would need the freedom to
move soon.

"And I promise..." Clark ran his hands down her back slowly,
savoring the feel of her against him, letting the softness of the
fabric mix with the softness of every curve in her body. It was
amazing.

Lois leaned back now to look up at him. His eyes were still wet
from the tears he had shed, but he had never looked more
endearing , more handsome to her. She reached up to wipe away
some of the wetness on his cheek with her hand and then, instead
of releasing it back to her side, she brought it down to her own
face, and placed his tears against her own. Without saying a
word, she smiled at him and with her other hand, she twined her
fingers around his.

Clark thought that his heart would burst. And he knew in that
moment that he didn't want to wait until their wedding night. He
didn't want to wait even one more minute.

"I have something for you." He took her other hand in his so that
both were together, their fingers locked. Lois looked up at this
man, a man she had taken so long to really see... The only man
she could ever imagine herself loving. "Three hours." Clark
stared expectantly into Lois' eyes. Would she agree?

Lois tipped her head to one side as if she were uncertain of what
he was trying to say.

"I-I know it's not a whole night, I-"

Lois placed two fingers softly against Clark's lips, silencing
his apology. She moved within a breath of his lips and whispered
softly..

"It's okay. Make your offer, Clark. I'm listening."

Clark felt every fibre in his body respond to Lois' nearness. His
confidence somewhat bolstered by her allowance, he smiled down at
the woman he loved.

"Three hours, no interruptions. On my honor." Clark bowed
gracefully like a nobleman in front of his lady and Lois giggled
in response. "What do you say?"

Lois stared up at her partner for only a fraction of a second
before responding. "I say..." She moved forward like a cat,
taking his head in her hands, she drew him towards her and kissed
him deeply. As their lips parted, Clark pressed his forehead
against hers and whispered her name softly. Then, moving down, he
recaptured her mouth with his own. His tongue found easy passage
into the warm cavity of her mouth which she opened and she met
him, eagerly, hungrily with her own. It was like falling into a
bottomless pit. Except that the falling was the best part. Lois
felt a tingling sensation coursing through her whole body,
causing her to shiver involuntarily.

Sensing her response, Clark pulled her up against him, deepening
their kiss, and Lois moaned as she felt his hot hands slide up
and undo the zipper which ran from her mid back to her tailbone,
taking great care to trail one finger down her spine as he went.
Lois' head tipped back and she groaned softly, as Clark trailed
kisses down from her neck to the line of her dress in front. With
his hands, he explored the sensitive muscles on her back, gently
reaching up to undo the clasp that held her bra, and then
realizing that there wasn't one. Lois could sense the rate of
Clark's breathing increase, she felt limp, as though she were
melting into his arms...

***

It was the most exquisite sensation she had ever felt in her
life, nothing...ever...it had *never* been like this before...
Collapsing on top of him, Lois could hear her breath still coming
in gasps. Pressed against his chest, she could feel his racing
heartbeat as it sought stability.

For long moments there was silence, broken only by the sound of
their breathing as they lay, still entwined in each others' arms.
Lois sighed and pulled more tightly against him.

"God..." Lois breathed.

"What is it?" Clark's voice sounded odd in the calm silence.

"Nothing. Everything. That was .. amazing." She felt for his hand
and pulled it down in front of her as she lay cradled on her side
against his body.

"I know." Clark whispered as he squeezed her hand.

"I've never felt this way before. About anyone, ever. I mean, I
know you know how I feel...about you, it's just, I feel like..."
Lois stopped, seemingly at a loss for words.

"We're joined? Somehow?" There was uncertainty in Clark's voice,
and Lois turned around to face him, allowing him to wrap his arms
around her back for support as they lay on the narrow couch.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. Emotionally and physically."
Lois smiled shyly at him. "I guess...I mean... I hope...I ... I
wasn't a disappointment for you, I mean, for your first...oh
god...I'm doing it again." She tipped her head down and Clark
moved one hand from her back to pull her chin back up.

"Lois, I've never felt anything more powerful in my entire life."
He stared into her eyes and she *knew* he was telling the truth.
He had always told her the truth. How could she have ever thought
of living without him? The idea of it now made her shiver and she
pulled herself tightly against his body for warmth and
reassurance.

"Clark..." Lois whispered and lay her head against his chest.
"How do you always know the exact right thing to say?"

Clark began to play with a lock of Lois' hair as he spoke. "I
don't, Lois. I know how to tell the truth. And with you, the
truth is sometimes the exact right thing to say." He smiled as he
continued to stroke her hair gently.

"What time is it?" Lois asked, still facing Clark, but with her
head against his chest.

Clark glanced at his watch which lay on the floor next to the
couch. **How did that get there?**

"Eight. We have some time still." Next to his watch on the floor
lay the jacket he had worn. Remembering a familiar voice scolding
him, he reached down towards the jacket and into its pocket,
pulling out the engagement ring which he had been taking
everywhere with him. For a moment he just played with it in
between his fingers and then he heard that voice again inside his
head.

"Lois?" Clark's tone was soft.

"Hmmm?" Lois sighed against him.

"When we were...arguing...," Clark could feel Lois' muscles tense
at the mention of their disagreement. "the other night, when you
handed me the ring, did you really want me to take it?"

Lois breathed out slowly. "No. I mean, I guess a part of me did,
but the bigger part of me wanted you to tell me you wouldn't...
take it."

There was silence for a brief time, and then Clark laughed softly
to himself.

Lois, moved against him. "Why are you laughing?"

Clark noticed that her voice almost sounded hurt. **Oh god, she
is so vulnerable now, she can't think that I did this just to
prove a point**

"Lois, I'm not laughing because of what you said. It's just that
my mom told me that's what you were feeling and I didn't believe
her." Clark kissed the top of Lois' head and traced a line down
her arm with one finger. "Lois?"

"Yes?" Lois voice was quiet, contemplative. And there was silence
for a moment before Clark finally spoke.

"Will you marry me?"

She lifted her head from Clark's chest and pulled back very
slightly so that she could see his face. His eyes were filled
with love, and passion, and something that Lois had not seen
there before, a deeper emotion which she couldn't put a name to,
but she knew she shared it as well. She reached out her hand to
touch his face and then giggled.

"You know, this is getting to be a habit with us...these
proposals." Lois smiled and let her hand fall against his chest.
"Clark, *yes*" She sighed as a stray thought crossed her mind.
"Can we get it right this time?" Leaning forward, she kissed his
chest lightly and then moved her kiss to his mouth. She ran her
tongue lightly against his lips before leaning back once again.

Clark took Lois' hand in his and slipped the ring gently back
onto her finger. He traced the outline of her lips with a finger
and then moved forward once again to capture her mouth with his.
It was a moment which was shattered with the ringing of the
phone.

Lois reluctantly pulled away and picked it up, keeping her eyes
locked on Clark's the entire time.

"Hello?... Yes. It's for you.." She handed the receiver to Clark
who appeared confused.

"Yes? Dr. Kline. Superman asked me to get a hold of you...I've
been trying for about a day..." Clark shifted his position as
Lois rained light kisses along his neck and collar bone. "Yes I
was .... Yes I did. He was just here, can I relay the message?"
Moving back almost unwillingly, Lois pulled a thin blanket from
the back of the couch around her shoulders for warmth.

"You did what? I'm sure he'll be very pleased to hear that. Yes,
thank you. Bye." Clark hung up the receiver and returned his gaze
to Lois, noticing how perfect she looked. "That was Dr. Kline. He
just got back from his sabbatical. It appears he locked the
kryptonite in a safety deposit box before he left. He just wanted
to tell Superman not to worry, that it's still there and it's
just fine."

Lois smiled brightly. "Clark that's wonderful!" She jumped
forward into his arms. "I still think my idea to get us into the
Blue Angel is worth trying out sometime... We could get some
great material on Intergang there..."

Lois was cut off in mid-sentence as Clark reached forward and
pulled the blanket from her, to her waist. Settling himself on
top of her, he moved down to kiss her passionately. After almost
a minute, as their lips parted, Lois added breathlessly...

"Of course, we don't have to go tonight." She smiled and reached
one hand up to play with a stray curl which hung over onto his
forehead.

"You're right. We've got the whole night ... no interruptions."
Clark trailed kisses along Lois' neck and down her arm. She let
head fall back against the small pillow below her and she moaned
softly.

"No interruptions?"

Clark gazed down at her, his eyes radiating heat. "I don't know
how you make me feel the way you do, Lois, but I do know that I
want to feel this way forever." As he moved forward to kiss her
again on the lips, Clark heard the blanket fall to the floor and
he adjusted his position so that he completely covered her. He
moved his mouth lower, and heard Lois groan as he felt her arch
against him once again. Pulling back for the briefest moment just
to look at her, he wondered how he could be so lucky, how the
most wonderful, beautiful woman in the world could possibly be in
love with him. Yet here she was.

"Clark..." Lois' voice was almost a protest as she opened her
eyes, heavy and full of desire. It was all the encouragement he
needed. Metropolis could go on for one more night without him.

THE END